Lost in the Shadows
by jennieln
Summary: (Tristan/Rory) This story follows the trials and tribulations of love, sex and friendships of Rory and her close nit group of friends in a time when adulthood is swiftly approaching. Can a friendship overcome a potentially disastrous start?
1. Fighting Mental Failure

Lost in the Shadows  
  
AUTHOR: Jennie (jennieln)  
  
EMAIL: jennieln@pacbell.net  
  
WEBPAGE: http://jessifanfic.com/links  
  
CATEGORY: Tristan/Rory but has elements of Dean/Rory and Jess/Rory  
  
RATING: R  
  
SUMMARY: It's New Years Eve senior year when Rory's life ultimately changes and she realizes that there is no going back.  
  
SPOILERS: All of the first season. In this story the second season didn't happen, meaning Tristan never left!  
  
DISCLAIMER: Me no own, you no sue.  
  
Part One  
  
FIGHTING MENTAL FAILURE  
  
"Come on! Please?" Rory begged, jumping up and down which was a hard feat to do in the shoes she was wearing.  
  
Dean shook his head and laughed. "I learned my lesson last year. You and your mother are both forbidden from fire, remember?"  
  
She glumly nodded. "But it's not really fire, just a little sparkler. Look! She has one!" she said pointing to a little girl dressed as a firecracker who was swinging her sparkler stick in the air.  
  
"Luke's hat," Dean said warningly.  
  
"That was NOT me. That was my mom. Besides, it was a marshmallow, not a sparkler." She pouted and purposely made her lip quaver.  
  
Dean seemed oblivious as he led her through the crowd. "The marshmallow was on fire, Rory."  
  
"It was my mom!" she said exasperatedly, pulling out of his grasp/  
  
"You're so cute when you're ticked." She ignored him, instead waving hi to Miss Patti and Taylor who seemed to be arguing. "Rory, I can't wait any longer."  
  
That got her attention. "What? Wait for what Dean?" She watched as he got down on one knee, her curiosity soon becoming horror.  
  
"I wanted to wait until midnight but I'm too anxious. Rory Gilmore, will you marry me?"  
  
Her heart stopped. A hand went to her chest in shock and confirmed it. Yes, her heart did indeed stop beating.  
  
She knew they were drawing a crowd, they had to be, they were in Stars Hollow after all, but all she could see was the tiny diamond ring that was being thrust up at her.  
  
Suddenly, her heart kicked back into motion, sending the blood rushing to her head. She reached past the ring, instead taking purchase on his wrist. He let her pull him across the street and a bit away before speaking.  
  
"Rory?"  
  
She stopped and faced him. How dare he use such an innocent tone with her. "Dean, I'm not ready for marriage."  
  
"But you're leaving for Harvard in the fall. Rory, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you—"  
  
She cut him off with a wave of her hand. "First of all, I haven't even been accepted yet, and secondly, we've discussed this before! I don't want to get married until AFTER I graduate." She was growing angry at him. How dare he do that to her in front of the whole town? He probably thought that if they had an audience it would be harder to say no.  
  
"I'm not saying we have to do it right away. I can wait as long as you need me to BUT I do need you to say yes now." He seemed desperate but it just angered her more.  
  
"You NEED me to say yes? Dean, I can't. Please. I can't do this." Rory turned sharply on her heel.  
  
"Don't walk away from me unless you don't plan on coming back," he threatened, his voice full testament to the pain he felt.  
  
She stopped, her back still to him as she felt something die inside of her. The end… it came so suddenly. Without looking back, she ran as fast as possible to her home.  
  
Once inside, she couldn't hold still. Pacing in the dark, she contemplated the fact that she wasn't crying. Why wasn't she?  
  
It was just a matter of time before it got around to her mother and she came rushing home, but she wasn't in the mood to discuss what had just happened because it felt as though it didn't. She felt numb and that scared her, but at the same time it was nice.  
  
She didn't want to turn on any lights, didn't want to face the harsh light of reality. The darkness surrounding her was comforting…. consuming. She was in a daze and she was afraid that at any moment the emotions would hit her.  
  
Ignoring her cloudy mind, Rory kicked off her shoes and walked into the kitchen enjoying the feel of the cold in the tile seeping through her feet and into her body.  
  
She moved deeper into the freezing kitchen, stripping off her puffy jacket. She tossed it to the side, flinching as the sound of glass shattered across the floor.  
  
Sighing, she went to the wall and switched on the light, the harsh fluorescents making her squint. She collapsed next to the blue-tinged glass and pulled the wastebasket to her, tossing the delicate pieces into the trash. It was kind of like a metaphor for her life, being shattered like that.  
  
Her mind numbly dissected the previous moment with Dean as she gingerly handled each sliver. What had Dean been thinking? Did they just really break up? A sharp sting in her finger brought her attention down and she dropped the bloody piece of glass. It was amazing that such a tiny sliver could cause such pain.  
  
Moving her hand over the trashcan, she watched curiously as the blood dripped off her finger. Fascinated, she enjoyed the pain. It made her feel. Made her feel alive.  
  
She glanced down and saw a crumpled yellow sheet of paper in the trash. Picking it up, she stained the sunny color with her blood. It was an invitation to Madelyn's New Years party that Rory had received in the mail. At the time it had seemed like a joke but now she saw it as an escape…  
  
Maybe not an escape from herself but an escape from her town, the questions, and maybe the numbness.  
  
She grabbed her keys, wrote a brief note to her mom, slipped on her jacket and shoes and jumped into her mom's jeep. 


	2. Trusting Desire

Lost in the Shadows  
  
I love feedback (  
  
Part Two  
  
TRUSTING DESIRE  
  
She knew she was close because the streets were lined with cars. She found the house and saw a spot at the bottom of the driveway where she hopefully couldn't get blocked in.  
  
The clock read 11:45 before she shut off the jeep. She took off her jacket and darted up the extremely long driveway. The front door was wide open despite the chill in the wind and she walked right in following the noise of the party to a dark room throbbing with lights, heavy beats of music and of life.  
  
Standing in the doorway, she let the atmosphere overtake her.  
  
"Jello shot?" a boy offered with a glint in his eye.  
  
She wasn't sure why she accepted. She told herself she was just trying to get the guy to leave her alone but she knew better.  
  
She took the small cup into her hand and brought it swiftly up to her lips. It tasted like strawberry jello. Just regular strawberry jello.  
  
She found herself smiling although it was only on the surface. It never penetrated any deeper.  
  
The guy handed her another and then disappeared into the crowd with a smile. She quickly downed it and was surprised to find a slight buzzing in her head.  
  
She liked it.  
  
*****  
  
He saw her the moment she entered the room.  
  
Between the deep strobes of light he watched her look around. Before the light flashed out he noticed there was something different about her.. her demeanor.. her eyes.. they were void.. empty. She looked lost, as if somehow she had arrived but didn't quite know how.  
  
He wondered why she wasn't with Dean and then he understood. They had broken up. Nothing else would leave her so.. dead.  
  
Dan walked up to her and offered a jello shot. Tristan smirked, prepared to see Rory blow the guy off. He was a bum anyway.  
  
She didn't.  
  
Instead, she downed the shot by the time the strobe flashed back onto her.  
  
She smiled but it never reached her eyes. He shivered.  
  
Dan handed her another and Tristan clenched his fists as the guy obviously checked her out as he left. She wasn't his.. by a long shot. But he couldn't control the feelings of jealousy or possessiveness that coursed through him.  
  
He thought that maybe he should go over and talk to her but he knew that he was the last person she probably wanted to deal with. In another flash she was gone, disappearing into the milling crowd.  
  
He searched between the strobes for her familiar figure finding her against the wall to his right. She was a mere twenty feet away but it seemed so much further.  
  
He sat back for a night of torture watching her every move.  
  
*****  
  
Her body hummed. Well at least it would be if it could sing.  
  
She found herself keeping to the edges of the room craving the comfort and support the shadowed walls provided.  
  
Suddenly, she saw him in a flash-bright blue eyes following her-and then it was black again. She moved slowly, eyes unmoving from that spot. The lights flashed back and he was still there, his eyes meeting hers.  
  
Her heart fluttered and she paused as the crowd jostled her. She felt her heart flutter. That feeling was so intense with everything else numb, that she almost collapsed under the weight of it.  
  
Why did HE make her feel? How did he do it?  
  
She held her breath as the light illuminated him again. They were only ten feet away from each other yet the air was thick making it difficult for her to breath. The lights danced over his face and darkness hit hiding her shaking hands.  
  
Then he was back, still absorbing her with such an intense look that made her want more. She darted to him and grabbed his hand, craving contact.. needing someone to ground her before she ceased to be. She closed her eyes reveling in the heat spreading in her stomach.  
  
"Rory?" His voice was weak, soft, hesitant. Everything he was not.  
  
She opened her eyes and smiled at him. Carefully, she led the way out the door and down the hall. There was a room on the right with a roaring fire in the fireplace. The library. It was deserted so she pulled Tristan in behind her and locked the door.  
  
She leaned her forehead against the wood door and sighed.  
  
"Rory, what's going on?" Though he was concerned she could also hear nervousness in his voice. Very un-Tristan like. But then again she was acting unlike herself as well.  
  
She didn't face him. Maybe he wouldn't understand. But then again, maybe he would.  
  
"I'm numb."  
  
He took a moment. "You and Dean?"  
  
She nodded. "I can't feel." Slowly, she faced him, knowing what she wanted. "Make me feel." She could see the passion smoldering in his eyes but he didn't move. He was frozen in place, his breath coming in short rasps. If he wouldn't, she would.  
  
She closed the gap in a whisper and pressed her lips to his, feeling a shudder pass through him and into her. His hands moved to her back, pressing her flesh against his hard chest making her want to feel more.  
  
He began hesitating so Rory wound her fingers through his unruly hair and guided his mouth down to her neck. He groaned softly and nipped at the sensitive flesh.  
  
She toyed with the hem of the soft sweater he wore as he moved back up to her mouth. Before he could make it, she lifted up on the garment helping him shrug out of it, leaving an expanse of delicate skin exposed.  
  
The burning sensation inside of her intensified, leaving her knees weak.  
  
Leaning his forehead against hers, he let her explore his chest with her shaking fingers.  
  
Beyond the walls they could hear the countdown being enthusiastically yelled.  
  
She met his eyes and felt a smile tug at her lips. "Happy New Year," she whispered, running a tongue across his bottom lip.  
  
He took that gesture as permission to continue. He backed her against the heavy door attacking her mouth, neck, arms, anything he came into contact with.  
  
She wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried her to the over-sized couch in front of the fire. Under her hands she could feel the taut muscles in his back constricting as he easily lifted her weight. She didn't know what it was about that act that made her smile, but it did.  
  
She found herself giggling as he gently laid her down, the firelight illuminating them both.  
  
It was just so cliché.  
  
He quickly covered her body with his own, warming what the fire could not reach. Moving his way down to her stomach, he softly kissed the burning flesh above her belly button. The feel of his breath tickling her skin made her head spin and she welcomed the feeling.  
  
Slowly, as if to torture her, he slid her sweater up and over her head, letting her fall back down to the couch. He sat, propped above her, eyes blazing, gulping in air as if he hadn't breathed in an hour.  
  
She needed more.  
  
She needed him.  
  
She told him just as much. "I need you."  
  
He growled pleasurably and she deftly moved her fidgety hands to the zipper on his pants. Without a moment's hesitation, she held her breath and pushed it down letting her hands travel back up to his waist to push down his pants as well. She prayed he didn't fight it.  
  
To her relief, he helped her slide them gracefully off and onto the plush carpet below them. He cautiously worked at her jeans next, in what looked to be pure reverence. They too managed to find their way to the floor.  
  
He devoured her mouth, expertly ridding them of their remaining articles of clothing.  
  
A voice inside her questioned what she was doing and, more importantly, whom she was doing it with but she pushed it aside and focused on Tristan above her, observing her.  
  
Did he realize just how amazing he was? If she had been asked that question a year prior she would've had no doubt in answering affirmatively. But now.. now she had caught a peak at his vulnerability and she knew there was more than a cocky attitude there.  
  
He looked as though he wanted to say something but couldn't seem to get the words out. She reached up and softly traced his cheek and lips with her fingertips before leaning up to pull his lip into her mouth.  
  
He eased his way on top of her, into her, through her.  
  
The pain brought tears to her eyes but she welcomed it all. He had opened an emotional floodgate and she didn't want it to close.  
  
He stopped and she held back a sob. His eyes held surprise and he was shaking. "You're a-I mean-you and Dean.. you never.?"  
  
She shook her head, mesmerized by the conflicting emotions flickering in his eyes in the firelight. Frozen in place, his breathing became sharp. She put a finger over his lips and slowly moved beneath him, adjusting to him.  
  
Gradually he took control, searching her face for something she couldn't give him. They picked up their rhythm and she found herself clinging desperately onto him. Lightheaded, she pulled away from his intoxicating lips. Tears found their way down her cheeks and she smiled.  
  
"Tristan," she called out, as her mind was hit forcefully with sensation after sensation. Closing her eyes against the onslaught, she felt him shudder above her groaning her name before weakly falling onto her.  
  
Her body was still tingling when he withdrew and slid next to her, turning her and pulling her body to him. She lay there, feeling his slowing heart pound against her back enjoying the feeling of his body curling around her, fitting her perfectly.  
  
She relaxed and melted into him. Her eyelids became heavy and she let them close, finally unafraid. 


	3. That was Then, This is Now

Lost in the Shadows  
  
Part Three  
  
THAT WAS THEN, THIS IS NOW  
  
Tristan was afraid to move, frightened that it would shatter the moment and take the angel in his arms away from him.  
  
Angel, huh. He realized tonight that she had a little devil in her too.  
  
When she had said she was numb, he had known exactly how she felt. The difference was was that he felt that way all the time. It was an odd sensation, being empty.. void, at first but he learned how to steal moments with a girl here and a girl there. But it never lasted long.. at least until he met her.  
  
With one glance, she set his body trembling, with a touch he lost all ability to speak. She was an enigma to him and he loved every moment of it. So when she approached him, so lost in the shadows, he knew what she was going through. He knew that he was lucky that he happened to be there because she could have easily chosen anyone-WOULD have chosen anyone.  
  
He didn't take offense; after all he had done it to countless girls himself, but he couldn't help but smile at the fact that he had been used. Never in a million years would he have imagined that happening. But he embraced the thought because it meant that he had one night-one amazing night with the girl of his dreams and he wouldn't have given that up for the world.  
  
Her breathing became even and steady and he leaned down inhaling her sweet scent. She smelled like strawberries and champagne though the former was probably for the jello shots she had downed earlier.  
  
As she slept peacefully in his arms he realized what he needed to do. It wouldn't be easy but he had to.. for her.  
  
She had needed the act, the comfort, not him. It would never be him and he would accept that and move on.  
  
He would leave her alone.  
  
But not at the moment. Nothing short of a nuclear bomb could tear him away from her at the moment.  
  
He reached above his head to the blanket draped over the arm of the couch and carefully spread it over them before letting the fire and the company loll him to sleep.  
  
*****  
  
Rory woke up groggily. She moved her foot experimentally and instantly stopped. The fuzzy blanket on top of her was unfamiliar and she began to panic when she couldn't remember anything.  
  
Hesitantly, she opened her eyes and blinked until a fireplace came into view.  
  
A fireplace?  
  
A soft moan erupted behind her and she identified the weight across her waist as an arm. Suddenly, she was assaulted by the vivid memories, one after another. She unconsciously blushed, unbelieving.  
  
And then it hit harder. She and Dean had broken up.  
  
Maybe she could talk to him, explain to him. But how could she explain that while she refused to sleep with him even after two years, here she was, quite naked with someone whom, on a good day, she claimed to hate.  
  
No, she had condemned her relationship the moment she had locked eyes with Tristan.  
  
Tristan.  
  
The moment they shared together proved just how gentle and caring he could be. She knew he had done it many times before but even still, it had been special.  
  
The fire crackled loudly and a log shifted sending a cascade of sparkles into the air.  
  
Tristan flinched and she felt him start to wake. Now came the awkward part. He instantly withdrew his arm as if she had burned him.  
  
"Hey," he whispered, yet it had lost the element of softness it had had before.  
  
"Hey." She pulled away form him feeling her skin slide against his sending shivers down her spine. No, she shouldn't feel that way. Not now. Not him.  
  
"Well, we couldn't have been out for too long. The party's still going on."  
  
Rory suddenly heard the music gently throbbing in the background.  
  
Tristan cleared his throat and reached for his boxers at the bottom of the couch. He slid into them and slipped over her, letting her have the blanket. She wrapped it tightly around her, embarrassed. Watching Tristan, she felt an empty thrum in her stomach as he went around collecting their discarded clothing. He placed hers on the couch next to her and got dressed, never one making eye contact.  
  
For a moment they both awkwardly shuffled and then he met her eyes. The normally crystal blue were cloudy and unreadable.  
  
"I'll um, I'll leave you to get dressed." He took a breath as if to say something else but instead shook his head and stepped out the door.  
  
Rory quickly dressed.  
  
*****  
  
He stepped out of the room and felt a tear slip down his cheek. Angrily he wiped it away and eased back into the party. It wasn't as crowded as before but there was still a large chunk of people dancing.  
  
"Tristan!" Louise came up behind him, dragging a seductive finger across his back and around to his chest. "And where did you disappear to? Hmm?"  
  
As much as he wanted to stand in the middle of the room and yell at the top of his lungs that he had just made love to Rory Gilmore, he couldn't. He refused to taint her. Nobody would ever taint her as long as he was around.  
  
"I've been around," he replied cryptically. "What time is it?"  
  
"Around 1:30."  
  
Happy New Year.  
  
He smiled flirtatiously, surprised that it still came naturally to him, and faded away into the shadows near the wall. When Rory emerged, he didn't want to be in eyesight. It was hard enough as it was.  
  
Luckily for him, Louise gave up on him and turned to the next unsuspecting victim.  
  
He leaned against the wall and shoved his hands into his pockets just as she stumbled thought the doorway. Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself and it took all his strength not to run over there and comfort her.  
  
He clenched his fist.  
  
Watching her walk with a little bit of trouble, he noticed that her legs looked weak and sore. He did that to her. Oh God, he was going to be sick. Her hair was messy and she furtively darted her eyes around.  
  
Was she looking for him?  
  
Who was he kidding? He shouldn't get his hopes up. She was probably trying to avoid him. Well, he would make it easy for her.  
  
She finally reached the other side of the room with only a few curious glances thrown her way and then disappeared from sight out the door. He found himself following her, needing to make sure she made it to her car all right.  
  
Leaving his jacket in the coatroom, he followed her outside and spotted her at the bottom of the driveway struggling with her keys. He slipped down after her, sticking to the darkness of the trees in the yard. He saw the shaking of her shoulders before he noticed the tears streaming down her face. He became sick all over again. He would never be able to look at her beautiful face again without seeing the pain he put her through.  
  
Her car pulled away and he felt his body fall to the soft grass below him, unable to stop the sobs from coming.  
  
***** 


	4. Blowing Away

Lost in the Shadows 4  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
  
A few people have pointed out (some more rudely than others) that Rory would never do anything as slutty as depicted in the previous parts. My response to this is DUH! I know, as well as anyone else who watches the show that these events will never happen.  
  
But isn't that the point of fan fiction? To explore an avenue the show wouldn't go? Yes, this one is quite a stretch but I wanted to write a story that nobody had attempted before. Do you really want to read the same basic plot lines over and over? Believe me, it gets boring fast.  
  
I simply wanted to give people a different view on the characters and paint a picture that they wouldn't normally expect to see. And I'm assuming from the massive amounts of feedback I receive everyday in my inbox, I may just be doing what I had hoped.  
  
I'm sorry if this story has offended anyone in anyway, that was never my intention. In fact, I have added an "AU" (although technically it is not) to the subject line to ward off those who don't want to stretch their imaginations with an "off the wall" story as this.  
  
Thanks for letting me ramble. Now on with the story…  
  
Jennie (jennieln@pacbell.net)  
  
PS. Thank you to all those who have sent me or responded favorably to this story. It means a lot.  
  
*****  
  
Part Four  
  
BLOWING AWAY  
  
Rory groaned and tried to ignore the finger that was annoyingly poking her side.  
  
"Rory…" her mother whined. "Hey, wake up. You've slept half the day already."  
  
Her head pounded slightly but she tried to ignore it as she blinked against the sunlight that was streaming in through the slits in the blinds. Squinting, she found everything blurry. Yep, definitely a sign that she should go back to sleep.  
  
"No," she said resolutely, burying her face deep into her pillow. "I want to go back to sleep." As muffled as it was, she knew Lorelai fully understood it's meaning.  
  
"Oh no you don't, sleepy head. You and I need to talk."  
  
She sighed deeply into her pillow before giving up. When her mom was determined there was no stopping her. Dragging herself up into a sitting position, she attempted to tame her hair.  
  
Amused, her mom watched for a moment before joining her on the bed, propping herself up against the pillows. "So talk."  
  
Rory stared at her blankly. "About what?"  
  
"Hmm… perhaps about Dean proposing and then you two having a very public break-up and then disappearing to a Chilton party instead of getting me and then when you got home, you didn't even wake me up like you promised!"  
  
Guilt was nothing new in their small but close-knit family. It was how they got what they wanted, so Rory brushed it off with a sigh. Her mother was only trying to find out what had happened.  
  
"Sorry, I just… everything's fuzzy." She slouched a bit and hugged a pillow to her chest. "I can't believe he proposed!" She found herself giggling. "What was he thinking?"  
  
Lorelai leaned her head on Rory's shoulder. "Was the diamond big?"  
  
Rory snorted. "Oh yeah, two months salary for a bag boy is just way too much to spend on a ring." Though the pain in her head had subsided to a dull throb, it had still not dissipated from her heart.  
  
"Well, it's a good thing that you said no then. Wouldn't want you to get arm cramps from the weight of it."  
  
"Yeah," Rory said quietly. "Good thing."  
  
They sat absorbed in their own thoughts. Between the two of them, silent moments were few and far between so Rory took advantage of it.  
  
Lorelai was the one to break it. "Have you not stressed your dream of Harvard enough to him? Does he not realize that you're leaving for four years, maybe more?"  
  
"That's exactly the problem. It's like he wants to 'stake his claim' on me before I go."  
  
"What's wrong with that? Sounds kinda obsessive but sweet in a Dean sort of way."  
  
Rory thought about that. What WAS so wrong with it? "I don't know… I just… I love him but I don't want to go away constantly thinking about him, missing him."  
  
"So you knew it was coming? The break up, I mean."  
  
Sometimes her mom surprised her with her astuteness. This was one of those times. She had a way of making Rory realize exactly how she felt without forcing her into it. "I guess I did," she conceded. "Although it's sooner than I expected."  
  
Lorelai patted her daughter's knee affectionately. "How about we go rent a bunch of movies and escape reality all day."  
  
Rory found herself smiling despite the emptiness she still felt. "Sounds great."  
  
Once her mom had gone, Rory sunk back down into the thick blankets. She wanted to tell her everything. She really did. But she was afraid that she wouldn't understand.  
  
Tristan DuGrey had been the bane of her existence from day one at Chilton. She had done nothing but complain about him. How could she now tell her that while everything had been cold, hard… distant, he had been warm, soft… REAL.  
  
That thought scared her.  
  
Although she had had some alcohol, she knew she hadn't been drunk. She had known exactly what she was doing and she did not regret whom she had done it with.  
  
She had used him. Flat out took advantage of him, but he was the only one who she couldn't feel sorry for. He had been trying to bed her for two years now and now that he had, his crusade was over. He would move on without giving her a second thought.  
  
She ignored the lump in her throat as she contemplated that.  
  
So no, she wouldn't tell her mom. Plus, if she did, Lorelai would insist on putting her on birth control—  
  
Rory stopped breathing.  
  
God, how could she have been so stupid? They hadn't used any kind of protection. Nothing.  
  
No, she definitely would not be sharing how idiotic she had been the night before.  
  
That decided, she got up, thankful that she still had two and a half weeks until she had to go back to school and face him.  
  
*****  
  
The breeze picked her hair up off her shoulders and Rory pulled the jacket tighter around her body. She sat in the town's center park, thoughts dwelling dangerously close to the events of a week before. She couldn't keep her mind off of Tristan.  
  
She saw the way his eyes flickered in the firelight—  
  
No, she wouldn't go there.  
  
"I didn't realize how entertaining watching stores was. I've been missing out on a lot."  
  
Rory felt a grin spread as he sat down next to her and slung an arm comfortably over her shoulders.  
  
"Hey Jess." She turned to study his face, rosy from the crisp air. A few days before, she had confided in him and she hadn't regretted the decision yet.  
  
"Hey yourself." He became serious, his brows creasing in concern. "How are you holding up?"  
  
"I'm fine." Yes, she told him what had happened with Tristan but she refused to acknowledge the twist her thoughts had recently become to take.  
  
"Yeah, freezing to death for two hours, staring off into space shows just how fine you are."  
  
Rory genuinely smiled. "Really, I'm okay. Just thinking."  
  
He stood up in front of her, towering over her. "Why don't you come inside with me and think where it's warm."  
  
"Okay, but only if there's coffee involved." She glanced down at the leaves the wind was blowing around. They dipped and danced around his feet.  
  
"I think I could swing it." He offered his hand and she was instantly grateful that she had a friend like him. She slipped her mitten-clad hand in his and looked up, startled to see two pairs of eyes staring down at her.  
  
"Dean…" she subconsciously whispered.  
  
Jess turned and nodded his head to Dean, dropping her hand. Dean acknowledged him and they both looked to Rory.  
  
"Come by later, okay?" Jess asked slowly, his eyes betraying his calm countenance. He was worried about her and she would love him forever for that.  
  
She nodded and watched him walk back to the diner across the street.  
  
Dean hesitated and then sat silently beside her.  
  
She looked down at his hands clasping and unclasping. They were the same hands that used to make her knees weak with they slipped through her hair, but now they looked different.  
  
"I'm sorry." His voice was quiet and was almost blown away with the wind.  
  
"Me too."  
  
She took a chance and looked up into his eyes, noticing the spark they usually ignited in her was absent.  
  
"I won't lie. This hurts me more than I thought possible, but I love you Rory. I'll do anything for you."  
  
"Then you'll be my friend and give me time."  
  
He sucked in a shaky breath. "If that's what you want, I'll try."  
  
She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Thank you." She had held his hand countless times before but this time it was lacking something.  
  
He smiled, trying to conceal the pain he felt, but she saw right through him. They had been through a lot together and Rory was certain they would survive this as well.  
  
He was one of her best friends.  
  
Comfortably, they sat side by side, holding hands and listening to the wind.  
  
*****  
  
TBC…  
  
AN: I know there hasn't been much Trory action since part two but be patient. It is coming. 


	5. If You Need Me...

Lost in the Shadows  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
  
A couple of people were confused by the pairing because I have all three guys in this story. I just want everyone to know that this is a Tristan/Rory story and is going to have elements of Dean/Rory and Jess/Rory  
  
Part Five  
  
IF YOU NEED ME.  
  
The day had dragged on for Rory and she just wanted it to be over. She tried to keep her mind off of the next day because the thought of it sent her stomach flip-flopping. So she was trying to read one of her favorite stories Pride and Prejudice. Even that wasn't helping too much which was why she was thankful when somebody tapped on her bedroom door.  
  
"Come in!" she called, too lazy to actually get up.  
  
The door swung open with a loud whoosh. "So are you ready for tomorrow?"  
  
Rory grimaced. So much for a distraction. She turned her attention back down to the novel in her hands.  
  
"Don't remind me," she grumbled, hoping he would drop it and go away. No such luck. Jess plopped down next to her on the bed.  
  
"You know that you're excited to see him," he teased. There was no mistaking who the 'him' was he was referring to.  
  
Tristan.  
  
She couldn't get him off her mind for the past two weeks. He haunted her dreams and consumed her thoughts. She constantly wondered what he was doing. How he was doing. WHO he was doing.  
  
Did he ever think of her or the amazing moment they had shared? Probably not.  
  
She sighed loudly hoping to get her annoyance with this subject across to him. Jess simply kissed the top of her head.  
  
To be honest, she was thankful she had him around. She didn't know what she would've done if he hadn't been there for her these past weeks. Not that he like Tristan though, in fact, he utterly despised the guy even though he'd never met him.  
  
She'd tried explaining to him that she was the one who practically seduced HIM but he wouldn't hear of it. Jess said that the guy was always at fault, whatever that meant.  
  
He thought that with her alcohol consumption and the fact that Dean had JUST broken up with her, Tristan had taken advantage of HER.  
  
"So what do you want to do on your last day of freedom?"  
  
She closed her book and tossed it on her desk. "I dunno. Whadja have in mind?"  
  
"Oh, I thunk we could go wrassle up some of them there movin' pictures and then kill us a goat."  
  
Rory rolled her eyes and laid down on her back, staring up at him. "This is a small town, but it's not THAT small."  
  
He chose to ignore her. "And then I thought we could go cow tipping. It's a recognized Olympic sport now, you know."  
  
"Hmm. How ignorant I am. I was unaware of that. Thank God, I have you around to teach me the ways of the world."  
  
"I'll get some culture in you yet." He stood up suddenly. "Come on. What do you want to do?"  
  
Sitting up, she thought about that. "Honestly, I feel like wallowing in my 'vacation's over' self-pity."  
  
Jess gaped in mock surprise before going to her closet and pulling out some tennis shoes. "Not allowed. This is Jess you're talking to, King of Mischief-"  
  
"A self appointed title," she interrupted giggling as he tried to pull the shoes on her feet.  
  
"I'm choosing to ignore that." He finally got one on so he began struggling with the other. "But anyways we can scrounge up some sort of trouble that irks poor Taylor."  
  
She scoffed. "Ah, Taylor's boring now. How about Kirk?"  
  
"Okay, the forever bachelor it is. Let's go." She looked down to find both shoes on and tied.  
  
"Um, that's all fine and dandy but they're on the wrong feet."  
  
Jess quickly lifted her feet examining them, confused.  
  
"Made you look." She giggled.  
  
"What are you, ten?" he asked, but was chuckling as well.  
  
He started to the door, grabbing both their jackets and she surprised herself by following. What was she getting herself into?  
  
The second he opened the door, Lorelai yelled from the living room. "What are you two doing? Can I do it too? I'm bored."  
  
Rory looked to Jess who was smirking. "Thank God we're not into anything kinky," he whispered, eyebrows raised.  
  
Rory smacked him and then led the way to the couch where her mother was perched upside down watching some MTV special. Jess casually leaned forward and lightly wiggled a finger in her side, causing her to squeal and fall at the same time.  
  
"Oof," she cried, rubbing her head and glaring.  
  
Rory ignored the injury. She was like a little kid. If you made a big deal about it then she would cry and pout and never let it go but if you ignored it she would forget just as quickly. "We're gonna go play with Kirk."  
  
"Since when did you revert to the first grade? Wait-Kirk?"  
  
Jess rolled his eyes. "Lorelai, it's me here. Do you really think we're gonna go over there and play hopscotch?"  
  
Rory saw her mom's eyes light up and she groaned.  
  
"Now there's an idea!" Lorelai sat up hurt head forgotten. "Hopscotch! I've got chalk!"  
  
Jess collapsed onto the couch next to Rory probably realizing that it wasn't going to be a quick escape. "I don't even want to know why you have chalk."  
  
"Remember when those pesky termites attacked the porch?"  
  
Jess shook his head. "Really, I don't want to know."  
  
Her mom continued rattling on. "And Luke came over to try to get rid of them?"  
  
With a pained expression, Jess looked to Rory. "Don't look at me buster. You started her on this tangent with the hopscotch comment."  
  
"And he went around making all those little marks that didn't seem to be doing anything but encouraging those annoying buggers to migrate. So, I went out shopping and came back with those cute pumps to match my purple suit and Luke told me they were tacky and made my feet look big."  
  
"That WAS pretty funny mom. You almost killed Babbett's gnome when your shoe missed him."  
  
"Yeah, well I stole his chalk."  
  
Sometimes Rory felt as though she was the mature one in her family.  
  
Jess grinned. "Ooh. Good revenge. Stealing a person's chalk can be considered a capital offense you know."  
  
Lorelai glared at him. "So you're going to go play jump rope with Kirk?" she said pointedly.  
  
He sighed. "No, we're going to mess with him. Play a joke if you will."  
  
Her mom brightened. "Oh! I wanna go! Please let me go! I can be stealthy and stuff. I've watched Mission Impossible a million times."  
  
"She has," Rory interjected, reaching across Jess to her mom's soda on the end table.  
  
Jess' jaw dropped. "Mission Impossible! Sacrilege! We're doing it James Bond style."  
  
"But Tom Cruise is sexier."  
  
"Are you forgetting about Sean Connery, mom?"  
  
"Ooh, he's definitely sexy."  
  
"Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan-"  
  
"Okay, I get the point."  
  
Jess stood up. "Do you two want to go or not?"  
  
"Yes!" Rory flinched at the new octaves her mom hit. "I'll be right back." She stomped up the stairs before either of them had a chance to say anything.  
  
Jess sat back down and put his head in his hands. "What is she doing? Should we run?"  
  
Knowing how long her mother could take, Rory laid down, plopping her head comfortably in Jess' lap. "Probably but my curiosity is getting the best of me. So what are we doing to Kirk?"  
  
"That's a surprise."  
  
"Frightening."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm voluntarily wrecking havoc with you. I really shouldn't have finished that paper before Christmas. I'm in desperate need of homework."  
  
"Soon enough." She looked up into his eyes as he gently ran his hands through her hair. There was something there, in his smoky eyes that she couldn't place.  
  
Lorelai chose that moment to hop down the stairs dressed completely in black from her boots to her jacket and ski cap.  
  
"I'm ready."  
  
Rory snorted. "To what, rob a bank?" Jess was laughing so hard, Rory had to sit up for fear she would have been tossed from his lap.  
  
"You two ruin all my fun. Now come on! Let's go!"  
  
*****  
  
"Mom, would you stop doing that?"  
  
"I'm not doing anything."  
  
"Yes you are. You're walking funky." Rory stifled a giggle as her mom almost lost her balance stepping off a curb.  
  
Jess walked past them. "Try bending your knees Ms. Gilmore," he threw over his shoulder.  
  
"Oh, you did not just 'Ms. Gilmore' me, you hooligan. I'm gonna get you for that one!" She tried to run after him but she couldn't seem to move too easily. Her jeans were abnormally tight. Suddenly, Rory recognized them.  
  
"Weren't those mine? I thought they were given away at one of the rummage sales."  
  
She turned stiffly towards her daughter. "Yes and no. I couldn't find any other black pants at the moment."  
  
"I grew out of them years ago, no wonder you're breathing so hard."  
  
Jess whipped around sending each of them a warning glare. "You both better stop talking or I'm turning back to Luke's."  
  
"Okay," they both grumbled simultaneously and then giggled conspiratorially.  
  
"So what's the plan 007?"  
  
His shoulders tensed as he faced them. "The plan is for you two to shut up for a few minutes while we sneak up to THAT window." He pointed to a small side window at Kirk's small house a few doors down.  
  
Nervously, Rory nodded and followed him, holding her mother's hand. She peeked through the window and found an empty kitchen with only a lone pot on the stove. She heard Jess unzip the backpack that he had picked up at Luke's and she turned to see him pull out a video camera.  
  
Lorelai looked bored. "Umm, Jess, what are we doing? Are we going to, gasp, catch him cooking? Unbelievable, yes but humiliating? No."  
  
"Just wait," he hissed back.  
  
Suddenly a stereo in another room came to life blasting a familiar beat. Rory recognized the beginning of "Roxanne" by the Police just as Kirk came dancing in wearing only a pair of tighty-whities.  
  
"Oh, eww!" Lorelai cried, covering her face with her hand but Rory caught her peeking through her fingers grinning wildly.  
  
Jess began taping as Kirk grabbed a wooden spoon and used it as a makeshift microphone. He shook his quote on quote stuff as he poured a bag off noodles into the pot. Rory felt violated. She felt as if she were watching the downfall of mankind yet she couldn't seem to drag her eyes away. It was mesmerizing in a terrifying way. It was kinda like a car accident. It's a horrible travesty but you can't help but look.  
  
The song ended as quickly as it began, much to Rory's relief and Jess switched off the camera, signaling for them to follow.  
  
They walked silently, too stunned to talk until Lorelai began to manically giggle. "I can't wait to tell Luke!"  
  
Jess' smirk faltered. "No, you can't. It'll ruin the surprise."  
  
Rory suddenly became worried. She hoped Jess wouldn't be too mean to Kirk. "What are you going to do with the tape?"  
  
"Oh, don't worry. It'll pop up sooner or later. Patience is key."  
  
They reached the entrance to Luke's and Lorelai carefully waddled up the steps. "I'm going in, you two coming?"  
  
Rory smiled faintly at her mom as she thought about the next day. She was surprised that Jess had been able to distract her as long as he had. "Nah, it's late. I'm gonna head home."  
  
"Okay sweetie. See you in a bit." She turned to Jess.  
  
"I'm gonna walk her. Make sure she doesn't get mugged or anything."  
  
Lorelai nodded seriously. "What would we do without you?"  
  
They watched her walk into the diner in time to hear Luke exclaim, "What the hell are you wearing?"  
  
Rory turned her attention to Jess as they slowly walked home.  
  
"Thank you for tonight. You completely took my mind off of things."  
  
He grinned slyly and took her hand in his. "Anytime Rory, anytime."  
  
They walked in comfortably silence and Rory enjoyed the comfort his hand offered.  
  
"How about I pick you up after school tomorrow? We can bum around the mall and celebrate the fact that you survived the day."  
  
"That is IF I survive. Thanks but no thanks. By the time you could get down there, I would already be home if I took the bus."  
  
"Ah, but you forget. I do not have a last period." He gave her puppy dog eyes and she gave in without a fight. She loved being on the back of his motorcycle.  
  
"Fine. Meet me in front of the school," she said curtly.  
  
"It's okay. You don't have to pretend to be put out. I know you're excited."  
  
"You wish."  
  
"You'll hardly be able to sleep tonight because you won't be able to get it off your mind."  
  
"No my sleeplessness will definitely be attributed to Kirk dancing around in his underwear. I don't even want to know how you knew he would do that. That's just disturbing."  
  
They reached her darkened porch and she walked in.  
  
"How many time have I told you two to lock your door?"  
  
"Probably around a hundred." Stripping off her jacket, she tossed it to the couch.  
  
"Actually more like fifty but why don't you listen to me?"  
  
"Because this is Stars Hollow." She continued on to her room and chuckled when she heard him lock the door before following. Turning on her light, she grabbed a large Harvard shirt Jess had bought her the last time they went to visit. He walked in and went straight to her CD player.  
  
She slipped the shirt on and then stripped out of her clothes underneath the protective covering of the huge shirt.  
  
"Where's my CD?"  
  
"You mean the Metallica one that you were hiding from my mom?"  
  
He looked at her, his eyes narrowing. "The one and the same," he said suspiciously.  
  
"My mom found it and is currently holding it ransom for her CD."  
  
"Which one?"  
  
"The one you threw out the window on the way to grandma's last week."  
  
He smirked. "She was pretty pissed wasn't she."  
  
Rory giggled and slid under her warm covers. He casually climbed over her and laid down next to her on his back.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"It's early. You couldn't possibly be going to sleep now."  
  
Rory pointed at the clock that read 10:05. He looked. "Oh."  
  
She looked at him, surprised to find his head already turned to her. They were close, about two inches from each other.  
  
And then he closed the gap and kissed her.  
  
It was slow, sweet, and soft but it was missing something. She kissed him back but it never deepened. A few seconds later, he pulled away and smiled.  
  
"Sorry," he whispered. She shrugged, perplexed. "I just wanted to see what it was like."  
  
"What was it like?"  
  
"Honestly? Like I was kissing my sister."  
  
She sighed and giggled. "Same here. But a manly sister." She dragged her finger across the scruff on his chin. Ignoring the glare he sent her way, she laid her head on his chest and listened to his steady heatbeat.  
  
Surprisingly, that kiss did not create a rift between them like it would've done to most but instead pulled them closer together. They shared something that most friends never did and it made them stronger.  
  
She felt her eyes become tired and she let them close.  
  
"I love you, Jess," she mumbled sleepily.  
  
She felt him wrap his arms around her and kiss her head. "Love you too, kiddo."  
  
***** 


	6. Mornings Are Hard, Days Are Harder

Hey everybody! I am SO sorry that it's been forever since I updated! Here's the next part. Oh, and a big thank you to everybody who has feedbacked. I'm writing this story for you guys so it makes me feel good to know that you are enjoying it.  
  
Jennie  
  
Lost in the Shadows 6/?  
  
Mornings Are Hard, Days Are Harder  
  
The drab stone slabs in front of her looked more like a fortress than a school at the moment. Ironically, the sun chose to hide that day, leaving foreboding clouds streaking the darkened sky when the past week there hadn't been a cloud in sight.  
  
Rory stood staring at the entrance looming ahead and she couldn't get herself to move. Her bare legs were jello, barely feeling the rush of the wind against them. She was terrified that she would enter the halls and find that the whole school knew about her and Tristan's indiscretion. Her mind drifted back to that night and she immediately felt a blush warm her cheeks.  
  
'Don't think about it,' she admonished herself as her stomach began its familiar flip-flop associated with thoughts of Tristan. 'Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.'  
  
Images of her exasperated mother from the night before caused a small smile to work its way to her lips. Lorelai had been locked out of the house and had pounded on Rory's window scaring Rory so badly that she had knocked Jess off the bed.  
  
The sky grumbled loudly ruining the image. Sighing, she made her way to the building.  
  
*****  
  
Tristan leaned against the cool stone of the wall, hidden from view by a few trees. He hadn't meant to watch her. In fact, he had told himself repeatedly that he would just ignore her. He had to. It hurt too much to look at her.  
  
So much for self-control.  
  
She wore her hair loose today and he was mesmerized by the way it whipped around her wildly in the wind. While the other students darted inside for cover, she stayed, her face revealing her fear of what lay ahead.  
  
Quietly, he slipped away to a side entrance, unable to look at her anymore.  
  
*****  
  
He had successfully avoided her for two and a half hours but he wouldn't be able to help it any longer because they unfortunately shared their next class together. He dawdled around, waiting until the very last moment to duck in and almost tripped out of surprise. Her seat was empty. He never beat her to class.  
  
Slipping into his seat at the rear of the class, he looked up just as she stormed through the door. She was a wreck. Her hair stuck out everywhere rivaling Medusa's, her knee socks and skirt were muddy and her right knee was bandaged.  
  
What affected him most was the fact that her eyes were rimmed in red leaving her looking haunted. She sat down as the bell rang, carefully avoiding his eyes. Okay, he should amend that. She was avoiding everyone's eyes.  
  
Paris leaned over to her in mock concern and Tristan braced himself.  
  
"Have you been crying, Rory?" She said it just loud enough for the entire class to hear.  
  
Rory shot her a weak glare and Tristan saw Paris' face light up as she saw an opening. "No, it was a late night."  
  
Paris smirked, the corner of her mouth twitching. "Ooh, did you have a boy over?" she asked mockingly.  
  
God, he prayed she didn't cry. Her lip quivered momentarily and it took an enormous effort not to run over and intervene.  
  
Thankfully, she held her ground. "Yes, how did you know? Jealous intuition?"  
  
Tristan smirked at the gaping, speechless look on Paris' face and slouched in his seat.  
  
And then her words hit him.  
  
She had a guy over?  
  
Maybe she and Dean got back together. He wouldn't be surprised; this wasn't the first time they had broken up. He slipped his pencil behind his ear as Paris glanced back at him, most likely hoping to see him heart- broken. Well, she was going to be sorely disappointed. Giving her a little wave and a suggestive wink, he took pleasure out of her frustrated sigh.  
  
His eyes again traveled to the back of Rory's head. Her hair slipped, exposing the smooth skin in the crook of her neck and he itched to touch it. Thank God she was out of reach. One day his impulsiveness was going to get him in a lot of trouble. But as hard as it was, he would survive. He had endured two years of wanting but not touching and he would endure it as long as he needed as well.  
  
The teacher impatiently cleared her throat and Tristan leaned back lazily in his seat, forcing his eyes on the clock above the white board.  
  
50 minutes. He could last 50 minutes.  
  
"Okay, before we get started, why don't you take out your papers and pass them forward." Tristan slipped his out of his thin folder and, although he'd never admit it, he had spent many days perfecting it. "Remember," the teacher continued on. "I will not take it if it's not in a folder."  
  
An abrupt movement to the side caught his eye and he looked to Rory who was frantically digging through her overstuffed backpack.  
  
"Miss Gilmore, is there something wrong?"  
  
He couldn't see her face but he could tell by the shakiness of her voice that she was close to tears.  
  
"I—I left it at home," she said quietly, staring down at her desk. A few people snickered and Tristan clenched his fist.  
  
"I'm sorry but you know the rules. No extensions. You will have to take a zero."  
  
Her head shot up. "But—"  
  
The teacher held up her hand. "This is neither the time nor the place to make excuses. See me after class."  
  
Rory nodded and he swallowed the lump in his throat. He was tempted to scribble his name off his paper and put hers on it instead but if she ended up talking the teacher into giving her an extension, he might screw everything up for her.  
  
He passed his paper forward.  
  
*****  
  
Rory could barely lift her feet as she dragged her bag down the hall after her last class. There had never been a worst day than ever before in the history of days.  
  
All she wanted to do was go home and curl up under tons of blankets and read a good book. That was if she could keep her eyes open long enough. She turned the corner and sighed. Just a few more feet to her locker. She glanced up and felt herself begin to smile.  
  
Jess was casually leaning against her locker, hands stuffed deep into his pockets, looking sorely out of place in his black jeans, camouflage long sleeve shirt and black vest. Dropping her bag, she crossed to him quickly and laid her forehead on his chest.  
  
"Save me," she mumbled into his shirt as he wrapped her in his arms comfortingly, chuckling.  
  
"Oh, honey. Bad day?"  
  
She nodded and reluctantly withdrew from his embrace.  
  
*****  
  
"How did you know which locker was mine?" she asked him, her eyes revealing just how worn out she was.  
  
Jess nudged her. "A magician never reveals his secrets."  
  
"Luckily, you're not a magician."  
  
"Luckily. I'm secretly terrified of rabbits. Your mom happily gave me the number."  
  
Rory smiled knowingly. "You gave her coffee didn't you."  
  
"You know me well."  
  
"No, I know my mother well."  
  
Jess fidgeted and glanced around them. "You ready to go? I feel like I'm an exhibit in a zoo," he mumbled, gesturing to a group of girls staring at them.  
  
Rory smiled up at him innocently. "Well, there IS a remarkable resemblance to a monkey."  
  
"That's it. No caffeine for you." His eyes twinkled as he reached down to pick up the inconspicuous styrofoam cup at his feet.  
  
"I take it all back. You are a beautiful, beautiful person whom I love very much." Jess rolled his eyes when her face naturally went into a wide- eyed puppy dog expression. She was so predictable.  
  
"I'm only giving in because I want to get the hell out of here," he grumbled playfully and handed over the lukewarm cup, knowing she would down it even if it were ice cold. He chuckled at her scrunched face as she forced the liquid down. "Good stuff?"  
  
She shrugged and began to work at her locker, still nursing the drink. Jess held in his smile as he worked his way through the milling crowd of plaid to where she had dropped her bag. Not finding it, he glanced around and found a blonde playboy holding it, staring off across the hall. Jess followed his gaze and found a blissfully unaware Rory on the receiving end.  
  
He smirked knowingly. Looked like someone had an admirer. As much as he wanted to give the guy a hard time, he held his tongue for Rory's sake. She had a hard enough time in that hellhole of a school already. He didn't want to make it any harder.  
  
"Hey man, is that Rory's?" he asked, hoping his humor in the situation wasn't evident. The guy turned slowly, a guarded expression on his face as he obviously measured Jess up and down. The action made Jess want to slam his fist into the guy's face but instead he cockily grinned and offered a hand. "I'm Jess," he said snorting when his hand was ignored. Mockingly, Jess smirked. "Got a thing for her?"  
  
The guy's eyes narrowed but Jess was far from intimidated. He could hold his own.  
  
"No," he growled gruffly before shoving the backpack into Jess' arms as he passed him to slip down a side hall.  
  
"Uh huh." Jess strolled back to Rory holding the hefty bag for her while she packed it full of books. He was surprised the zipper didn't burst. "You got everything?" he asked jokingly.  
  
Rory was oblivious to his sarcasm. "Yeah," she said in a dull monotone. "Hey, do you mind if we just head home?"  
  
He took a moment to observe how exhausted her eyes looked. "Sure. I don't feel like making fun of teeny-boppers today anyway."  
  
Nodding absently, she slammed her locker shut before downing the rest of her drink and tossing it into a nearby trash.  
  
"Better?"  
  
She grunted and began down the hall to the exit. Jess swung the backpack onto his shoulder and quickly jogged to catch up with her. "Dare I ask who caused you bodily harm?"  
  
Looking up at him, her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "Drugs are bad, Jess."  
  
"But it's the only way to make Stars Hollow bearable." He pointed to her bandaged knee and muddy skirt.  
  
"Oh." He heard her mumble something unintelligibly.  
  
"What was that? Seaweed horny?"  
  
"You are one weird guy, Jess. Therapy is your friend."  
  
They finally stepped outside into the chilly air. "Oh, no you don't. Changing the subject will not work with me. Spill."  
  
"It's really a very boring story—me, a bench, a conveniently situated mud puddle, and some angry words. That pretty much covers it."  
  
They reached his motorcycle and he tossed her her helmet. He had bought it for her last birthday and Lorelai instantly took it and decorated it much to his disgust. It was adorned with decoupage flowers, hearts, and smiley faces and HAD a big picture of Rory and Dean skiing the winter before on the back.  
  
He grinned as she looked closer and noticed that he had carefully peeled the picture away and replaced it with one of Rory and Jess mid-argument at her grandma's.  
  
She smiled, no doubt remembering that day. Never put down a Gilmore or their shoes.  
  
Three generations of Gilmores had taught him that.  
  
She slipped it on and beamed up at him. Opening her ridiculously heavy backpack and emptied the biggest books into the small compartment beneath his seat. Once it was full and Jess was adequately satisfied that if she put it on her back while riding, she wouldn't fall over backwards.  
  
"Can I drive?"  
  
"No," he answered automatically.  
  
"You didn't even think about it," she pouted.  
  
"Because I don't need to. It's never going to happen." He swung onto the bike and waited for Rory.  
  
She paused a moment, hands poised on her hips. Finally, she sighed in resignation. "Party pooper." She climbed on behind him.  
  
"Yep, I'm the poop in the party. Hold on to me or you'll be left behind."  
  
"You know, I really can't stress therapy enough to you."  
  
He started the engine and pulled away chuckling as a few girls whispered and pointed their way as Rory wrapped her arms around his waist. Expertly, he navigated through the parking lot until they hit traffic slowing them to practically a crawl. His gaze drifted to the immensely expensive cars surrounding them.  
  
Oh, the fun he could have with these preppies.  
  
To the right, he spied the blonde guy from earlier leaning against a black prowler, talking with a couple of guys but his eyes followed Rory.  
  
Jess met his eyes and was surprised at the intensity of anger that was in them.  
  
The cars in front of him moved, dragging his attention forward. When he glanced back, he was gone. 


	7. It's All a Blurred Vision in a Crazy Haz...

TITLE: Lost in the Shadows  
  
PART: Seven  
  
AUTHOR: Jennie  
  
EMAIL: jennieln@pacbell.net  
  
WEBSITE: http://jessifanfic.com/links  
  
DISCLAIMER: College student... need I say more?  
  
PAIRING: Tristan/Rory but will have elements of Dean/Rory, Jess/Rory, and ?/Rory  
  
SUMMARY: It's New Years Eve senior year when Rory's life ultimately changes and she realizes that there is no going back.  
  
RATING: R for sexual situations and will be constant throughout the story.  
  
SPOILERS: All of the first season. In this story the second season didn't happen, meaning Tristan never left!  
  
NOTES: I had an idea of where this was going but recently read the same plot line in another fic whose author wrote it so beautifully I don't even want to attempt it now.  BUT I have another direction that I will be going in so soon the summary will be changing...  
  
IT'S ALL A BLURRED VISION IN A CRAZY HAZE  
  
His heart was pounding again. He could feel its rhythm match that of his throbbing headache and to say the least, he was not a happy camper. The chair he sat in, though as expensive as it was, was so stiff that he found himself shifting his position every few seconds.  
  
It was weird. It had never been this uncomfortable before.  
  
"Tristan, honey, Dr. Weiss will see you now," the secretary, Tracie, said from behind her desk with a wink, breaking his vigil.  
  
He stood and stretched before ambling to the ornate wooden door. He tried to smile flirtatiously at Tracie, per usual, but felt it come out more as a grimace. Embarrassed, he quickly slipped into the office.  
  
*****  
  
Tristan walked in and Dr. Megan Weiss could instantly see the tension in his body. She had seen him like this many times before but each time, it broke her heart.  
  
She smiled, hoping to put him at ease. "Hello, Tristan. And how are you doing today?"  
  
She watched as he took a deep breath and built a wall up around his emotions. A wall that she would now have to break down.  
  
"I'm good. How about you? And your daughter? Cindy isn't it?"  
  
Dr. Weiss had to admit that he was innately good at wearing this mask of normalcy. Unfortunately, he was becoming used to wearing it all the time.  
  
"I'm fine and Cindy's still too young for you."  
  
He chuckled and looked around from his position still by the door.  
  
"Come, sit, get comfortable." She thought she saw a slight twinge but it was gone just as quickly. With a forlorn glance out the broad window facing out to a small park, he crossed to the couch to the right of her desk. She shifted, accommodating his choice of seating. "Are your parents back from Paris yet?" she asked, watching him sigh and noticing how his posture drooped ever so slightly.  
  
"Yeah, a couple of days ago. I haven't really seen much of them, though."  
  
"How do you feel about that?" She knew exactly how he felt. They had had this discussion before, but maybe the more he talked about it, the less jaded he would feel.  
  
He shrugged. "Today was the first day back to school," he said soberly, deftly changing the subject to a more neutral one.  
  
"Did you talk to Rory like I suggested?" She knew he hadn't the moment she said Rory's name. His eyes became like a deer's caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.  
  
He shook his head, swallowing hard and refusing to meet her eyes.  
  
"Why not?" He remained pensive. "Maybe afraid of rejection?" she prompted.  
  
He stood up and stalked noisily to the other side of the room. "I'm not afraid of anything," Tristan growled, throwing a glare at her as he paced a convoluted path around the antique table and chairs by the window.  
  
"Then why wouldn't you talk to you? Tell her how you feel?"  
  
"I—I just… it hurts to look at her, you know?" It was rare that Tristan flat out admitted a weakness and as startled as Dr. Weiss was, she sat quietly, mulling it over.  
  
He paused by the window, sliding it open and letting the chilled wind come rushing in. She knew better than to comment. Instead she quietly slipped into her coat and observed the troubled young man before her. He dropped down weakly into a chair, but was on his feet again almost immediately, stalking around the room, his untucked uniform shirt billowing behind him like a tame storm cloud. Once again, he stopped by the window.  
  
"Are you in love with her?" she asked softly, hoping to get an honest answer from the boy.  
  
Tristan shook his head distractedly, his eyes searching the empty park and the darkening sky above it. "Love doesn't exist."  
  
Swallowing back her words, the doctor watched as he continued his caged- animal pacing. It broke her heart to see such a young and talented boy so jaded and cynical. But then again she had seen it many times before with the children whose parents seemed to be in a marriage void of love. The years of observation were beginning to take their toll on him.  
  
When it got to the point where she thought that he was just going to burn a hole in the rug, she finally sat forward and cleared her throat. "Tristan, honey, sit down." Ever so reluctantly, he slid the glass panes shut and flopped down onto the couch. "Why don't you try apologizing to her? The best relationships are those that are based on a friendship. So start off simply. The hurt you feel will begin to fade, you'll see."  
  
He blinked, his face a conflict of emotions. She could tell that on one hand, he wanted desperately to be Rory's friend, but on the other, he was terrified of her reaction.  
  
"From what you have told me about her, she seems to be too genuine to say no to a friendship. And even if it doesn't work out in the end, you will just go back to where you are now, losing nothing. Can you promise me that you'll talk to her?"  
  
Slowly, he nodded. "Yeah, I can do this."  
  
"Good. So tell me, have you talked to Travis lately?"  
  
His face lit up as he began to regale her with his older brother's latest story from Harvard. As she watched his eyes sparkle in humor, she had no doubt that in the end things would work out for him.  
  
*****  
  
Rory grabbed her backpack and muffin and headed to the door, sending a quick wave over her shoulder to her mom and Luke at the counter, all the while, convincing herself that today would be a better day. She reached the bus stop a few seconds before the bus pulled up and she gave a sigh of relief. The last thing she needed was to miss the bus.  
  
"Morning Hal," she said, dropping the coins into their allotted slot and continued past the familiar faces she saw five days a week until she came to her usual seat that was the sixth row on the right side. As she was about to sit, she noticed a big glop of purple gum directly in the middle of the seat.  
  
Now that couldn't be good.  
  
Even though only a quarter of the seats were actually taken, she ALWAYS sat in that seat and it felt wrong anywhere else. Resigned, she chose the bench in front of it.  
  
Again, she tried to convince herself that the gum had been a fluke and that her day was only going to get better but the closer they got to Chilton, the more her stomach decided to do flip-flops. By the time she stepped off the bus, she felt physically ill from dread.  
  
She was really losing it.  
  
Suddenly, a hand touched her arm, startling her before withdrawing just as quickly. She turned and found herself face to face with Tristan. Instantly, Rory felt her face go green. She didn't think she could handle a confrontation today.  
  
But she had more pressing matters to worry about at the moment, such as not throwing up all over his shoes. That wouldn't be such a good start to the day.  
  
"Um, Rory… I—are you okay?" She glanced down at the pavement, unable to take his intense scrutiny. "You don't look so good."  
  
She managed to wave a hand at his worries and forced herself to take a deep breath.  
  
"Well, I wanted to know if we could talk sometime today. Lunch maybe?"  
  
Quickly, she processed his words, eyeing with distaste the dark cloud cover that hung over the whole sky like some brooding menace. She'd never put much stock in omens, but those clouds certainly didn't help her mood any.  
  
"I can't at lunch. I need to work on a project for English…" she trailed off in embarrassment as she realized that he was in her English class with her and had witnessed her humiliating moment the day before regarding the essay she had forgotten on her desk at home.  
  
His eyes showed comprehension. "You convinced her to let you make the points up?"  
  
God, she was tempted to run away. Far, far away where nobody could look at her the way he was at that moment. Was that pity? Yep, hurling was definitely an option at this point.  
  
He cleared his throat. "Anyways, how about after school then… at your locker maybe?" He must've seen her apprehension. "It won't take long, I promise."  
  
Nodding, she watched him smile and noticed how his eyes lit up at the action.  
  
"See you then, Rory." He turned away and in that second she fled to the front doors and high-tailed it to the girl's bathroom.  
  
Yes, she was quite aware of her impending insanity but it seemed to be the safest place available. The girl's bathroom was like hallowed ground. Nothing evil could trespass there.  
  
Then she spotted Paris, Louise and Madelyn chatting at the front mirrors.  
  
Scratch that thought. Evil lurked everywhere.  
  
She turned right back around but Louise unfortunately spotted her and called out her name.  
  
"What happened to you at the New Years party?"  
  
Great, the nausea was back.  
  
"Nothing," she answered, flinching when she heard how defensive her voice sounded.  
  
"Sandy said that you left looking like somebody had killed your dog."  
  
What the hell? She didn't even know a Sandy. Then Rory realized something. She slowly let out the breath that she had been holding when she realized that they hadn't mentioned anything about a certain blonde haired, blue-eyed boy. Maybe they didn't know. But then again, they could just be messing with her. Either way, she really didn't want to stick around to find out.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," she said. "I don't own a dog." Without waiting for a comment, she turned and fled the bathroom.  
  
It was going to be a long day.  
  
*****  
  
TBC…  
  
A BIG thank you to everyone who reviewed. Honestly, it was what made me get this part out so fast! Thank you again!  
  
Jennie 


	8. Overprotected

TITLE: Lost in the Shadows 8  
  
AUTHOR: Jennie  
  
EMAIL: jennieln@pacbell.net  
  
WEBSITE: http://jessifanfic.com/links  
  
DISCLAIMER: College student... need I say more?  
  
PAIRING: Tristan/Rory but will have elements of Dean/Rory, Jess/Rory, and ?/Rory  
  
SUMMARY: This story follows the trials and tribulations of love, sex and friendships of Rory and her close nit group of friends in a time when adulthood is swiftly approaching. Can a friendship overcome a potentially disastrous start?  
  
RATING: R for sexual situations and will be constant throughout the story.  
  
SPOILERS: All of the first season. In this story the second season didn't happen, meaning Tristan never left!  
  
NOTES: Big thanks goes out to my beta'er Jewls13 and of course to everyone who feedbacked. Believe me, it's what keeps me going when I think, 'Hmm, essay, physics work, history quiz… nah, fanfic.'  
  
OVERPROTECTED  
  
Despite her previous concerns, the day had gone pretty smoothly. It had been simply a normal day at Chilton, which on any other day could have been considered hell in itself but compared to the previous day it had been paradise.  
  
Except now. The final bell had rung moments before and she had nowhere to go except to her locker. And at her locker, Tristan would be waiting to have their "talk."  
  
Maybe she could just head home and claim to have forgotten all about meeting him. She could probably do without her history and physics books for one night. People did it all the time.  
  
"Rory," a voice said close to her ear, startling her.  
  
She knew who it was without turning around. "That's the second time today you have scared the crap out of me." Turning, she faced Tristan, proud that her knees didn't go weak as they did before.  
  
He smiled tightly at her. "I thought we agreed to meet at your locker, not mine."  
  
Her face flushed as she realized that in pure stupidity she had been contemplating ditching Tristan right in front of his very locker.  
  
And she was supposed to be the smart one.  
  
"Um, yeah. Just eliminating a step."  
  
He blinked at her not sure whether to take her seriously or not. "Okay." He closed his locker and fidgeted. "Basically, I wanted to apologize."  
  
Rory's jaw dropped. She felt like a fish gaping for air. "Tristan," she hissed, hoping that no one around them could hear. "I came onto YOU. You have nothing to apologize for."  
  
"No, you misunderstand. I'm not apologizing for what happened. I'm not sorry about that. I'm sorry for my past behavior towards you. I was a prick."  
  
Just when you think you have someone figured out, they turn around and shock the hell out of you. Wait—did he just say that he wasn't sorry about what happened between them that night?  
  
He shifted, obviously uncomfortable with his vulnerable position.  
  
"I'm—give me a moment," she stammered. "Still processing."  
  
"Look, I want to rid us of this awkwardness. Do you think we can try to call a truce and be friends?"  
  
Eh? That was definitely the last thing Rory expected. Not that she had known what to expect. And since when were they at war enough to call a truce? They hardly spoke anymore.  
  
Rory hesitated. Did she want to be friends with someone whom she thought she might be beginning to have feelings for? It would be so much easier to simply ignore him and hope that the old saying "out of sight, out of mind" was indeed true. But then again, she didn't want to deny him—or herself—this.  
  
"Friends as in 'call each other every night, give each other manicures' or as in 'if I see you in the hall, I say hi, you say hi back and we go on with our day?'"  
  
He chuckled and scratched the back of his head in the most adorable way. "If you begin to call me every night, I might just have to get a restraining order. But being able to acknowledge you in the halls without eliciting some kind of defensive attack from you might be nice."  
  
Although she was still wary about this tentative relationship, she felt a little better. She nodded and began to walk to her locker, smiling as Tristan comfortably fell into step beside her. "When have I ever verbally attacked you?"  
  
"Let me count thy ways."  
  
"Well, if I did it was only because you provoked me. You have this remarkable way of annoying me more than anyone else can."  
  
"And you, my dear, seem to bring it out in me."  
  
They turned the corner as Rory was about to retort but all thought fled from her mind when she spotted Jess lounging against her locker chatting with a very flirtatious Louise. By all outwardly appearances, Jess seemed to be enjoying it but Rory knew him too well and could tell by the way he kept fiddling with the combination wheel on her locker that he was quickly losing interest.  
  
Jess spotted her and after excusing himself, he quickly crossed to them. "That girl could benefit from some Prozac. A lot of it."  
  
"Jess, what are you doing here? You're not planning on driving me home everyday are you?" Suddenly, she became aware of how the two boys were sizing each other up. "Jess this is Tristan. Tristan, Jess—"  
  
The words were barely out of her mouth when Jess' fist connected solidly with Tristan's check. By the time she had comprehended what was happening, the two were locked together, punches wildly being thrown.  
  
"Stop it!" she cried, ignoring the growing crowd of onlookers. Neither showed any signs of stopping so she literally forced her body between them and hoped that neither would hit her in the process. "So help me God, if I get hurt you both will be hitting new octaves."  
  
With Tristan now behind her panting from the exertion, she shoved Jess backward, ignoring her motherly instincts to baby his bleeding lip. "Jess! What the hell is wrong with you?!" He didn't answer, instead dropping his head. "Outside." She pointed and stomped her foot to punctuate her point.  
  
He didn't move.  
  
"Now."  
  
"But—"  
  
"I'll be there in a minute. Go!" Shoving his way through the dispersing crowd, he stormed outside.  
  
Hesitantly she turned to Tristan, wincing at the swelling of his right eye.  
  
"Not a very good start to our friendship," he joked, painfully touching the side of his face.  
  
"I don't know what got into him. No, I take that back. I know exactly what got into him. He is too damn protective of me. I—shit, I am so sorry Tristan. You may be a jerk sometimes but you never deserved this. It will never happen again, I promise." And then as an afterthought she added, "As long as you stay out of Stars Hollow indefinitely."  
  
Gathering an air of nonchalance about him, Tristan cocked his head to the side. "Not a problem. Just give me a heads up next time, will you?" She picked up her discarded backpack and thanked her lucky stars that the Chilton students had moved on and were no long paying attention to them. "New boyfriend?" Tristan asked quietly.  
  
Rory felt her lip twist. "Good friend."  
  
He nodded and she half-expected him to walk away and never speak to her again. "Does he normally attack guys that talk to you?"  
  
She was about to explain the source of Jess' hatred for him when she saw understanding appear in his eyes. Instead of admitting that she had talked about that night with Jess, she tried to make light of the situation. "Yes, unfortunately I haven't quite housebroken him yet."  
  
"Well, don't take offense or anything but until you do, I won't be coming over for any of those manicures any time soon."  
  
Rory raised an eyebrow. He was quite remarkable. How in the world had she missed it before? Here he was trying gallantly (at least she hoped he had no ulterior motives) to become her friend and Jess had to violently prove his manhood on Tristan's face, yet he remained amiable. Maybe she should ask how he did it.  
  
Before she had a chance, he continued. "As much as I would like to continue this little chat of ours, I think I might need to see a dentist." She suddenly noticed a tint of red in his mouth. "But this is not the end. Oh, no we have far more ahead of us. I will say hello to you in the hall tomorrow, THAT is definite. Until then."  
  
With that, he turned and intelligently went the opposite direction from Jess. Rory found herself staring after him for a few more heartbeats, perplexed. How did she ever miss this side of him?  
  
Somebody slammed a locker shut snapping her out of her reverie. Hoping no one had noticed her odd behavior she rushed outside to Jess.  
  
He was seated on his motorcycle obviously angry with himself. Rory's hand curled into a tight fist, her stomach churning with mixed feelings. She knew that he was only trying to look out for her and a small part of her was flattered that he cared so much but then again, what he did was irreproachable. Maybe if Tristan had been uninvited would what Jess did be all right, but it wasn't.  
  
"Jess, what were you thinking?" she asked softly, lightly cupping his face in her hands and examining his lip.  
  
He sighed and pulled out of her reach. "I'm sorry you had to see that."  
  
Odd response. Not 'I'm sorry I did that' but 'I'm sorry that you saw.'  
  
"What do you mean?" Rory asked suspiciously.  
  
"Look, what that guy did to you was wrong. He knowingly took advantage of you, Ror. Can't you see that?"  
  
She suddenly became very conscious of their surroundings. Without a word, she slipped on behind Jess. "Let's talk about this when we get home."  
  
*****  
  
TBC…  
  
Feedback is greatly appreciated! 


	9. Almost

TITLE: Lost in the Shadows 9/?  
  
AUTHOR: Jennie  
  
EMAIL: jennieln@pacbell.net  
  
WEBSITE: http://jessifanfic.com/links  
  
PREVIOUS PARTS: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=492824  
  
DISCLAIMER: College student... need I say more?  
  
PAIRING: Tristan/Rory but will have elements of Dean/Rory, Jess/Rory, and ?/Rory  
  
SUMMARY: This story follows the trials and tribulations of love, sex and friendships of Rory and her close nit group of friends in a time when adulthood is swiftly approaching. Can a friendship overcome a potentially disastrous start?  
  
RATING: R for sexual situations and will be constant throughout the story.  
  
SPOILERS: All of the first season. Yes, Tristan and Rory were in that Shakespeare play together but no, he did not get sent to military school. My Tristan is too smart for that. :o)  
  
NOTES: Big thanks goes out to my beta'ers Jewls13 and Julie and of course to everyone who feedbacked. Believe me, it's what keeps me writing!  
  
AUTHOR NOTE #2: Jenne from Trory Addiction and I were toying with the idea of making a message board for Gilmore Girls fanfic. If you are interested in helping in any shape or form (graphics, ideas, contributing fic, etc) please email me at jennieln@pacbell.net Thanks, Jennie  
  
ALMOST  
  
Studying has a way of taking your mind off of everything that is going on in your life. Any worries you may have seem to melt away for those few hours… which was what Rory had been hoping would happen when she sat down at the kitchen table an hour before. But much to her disappointment, she had thought more about Jess and Tristan than the second continental congress.  
  
She was about to call it quits when her mom breezed through the door and plopped herself down directly across from Rory. Rory looked at her expectantly, waiting for whatever it was her mom was dying to talk about.  
  
"So spill," Lorelai finally said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"Remember, no matter how close we are in genetic makeup, I can't hear your thoughts, only the words that come out of your mouth."  
  
"You come home all pissy, albeit in a better mood than yesterday, then you refuse to go to Luke's for dinner. You passed up Luke's, life-sustaining LUKE'S."  
  
"We've had hamburgers this week more times than I can count." Yes, she was aware her argument was weak but maybe her mom wouldn't call her on it.  
  
"Then the whole time I'm eating, by myself I might add, Jess is being completely rude with this extremely curious split lip and bruise on his cheek."  
  
"What's new," Rory said sarcastically.  
  
"This was a weird kind of rude. I think… I think he was almost moping around."  
  
Curious, Rory perked up. So he was sorry for what he did? Maybe there was hope for the boy yet. "What makes you think he was moping?" she asked as casually as she could.  
  
"Rory, he spent fifteen minutes cleaning a table."  
  
Jess cleaned? "Point taken."  
  
"That thing was so shiny clean, I could've eaten off of it."  
  
"I got the point."  
  
"So spill."  
  
As if her mom wouldn't find out anyway. "Jess and Tristan became acquainted today," Rory said dryly and stood up to stretch.  
  
"You mean Shakespeare Tristan?"  
  
Rory flinched as she thought back to that Romeo and Juliet school project a few years back where Tristan, Romeo to her Juliet, came close to ruining her relationship with Dean. She and Tristan had shared an ill-fated kiss one night—God, it felt like a lifetime ago—a kiss that she had managed to keep secret all these years, and with it, an enormous amount of guilt for not telling Dean when they got back together.  
  
"The one and the same," Rory answered. She sighed and knew that she needed to talk to Jess. She couldn't put it off any longer. Ignoring her mom's confused expression, she went in search of the ever-elusive telephone. Why her mom got a cordless, she'll never know. They spent more time in search of it than talking on it.  
  
"Where are you going?" Lorelai demanded anxiously.  
  
"I need the phone." She knew she was driving her mom crazy and to tell the truth, she was rather enjoying it.  
  
"But we're not done talking about this!" Rory considered dragging it out to annoy her mother further but didn't want to deal with a whining Lorelai at the moment.  
  
"What do you want to know?" Rory spotted the phone on the living room couch but her mother darted past her and snatched it before she could get to it.  
  
"What were they fighting over? Your virtue?" The phone was now being held out of reach above Lorelai's head. Rory rolled her eyes. Sometimes her mom could be so immature. But even as she thought that she couldn't help but smile.  
  
"Yes, mother. They fought over who gets to bed me next."  
  
Lorelai cocked her right eyebrow and leaned against the wall, watching Rory eye the phone. "Next?"  
  
Rory mentally flinched. "First," she amended, catching her mom off guard and snatching the phone from her.  
  
"And you're upset about this why?" Rory ignored her, instead moving to her room as she dialed. "You're no fun!" her mom yelled before giving up and stomping upstairs.  
  
"I know," Rory called back as Luke picked up the other end. "Hey Luke. Can I talk to the stubborn, pig-headed bastard, please?" Luke grunted in acknowledgement and then called Jess to the phone.  
  
"'Lo?"  
  
"Judas," Rory said accusingly.  
  
"I did NOT betray you. I was—am protecting you."  
  
"Whatever. Look, I love you but you are not allowed to pick me up from school anymore."  
  
"You'd rather take the bus?" His voice was teasing but she knew he was just worried about her.  
  
"Than risk you throwing punches everyday? Yes." Rory stretched out on her bed and toyed with the fringe on one of her pillows.  
  
Jess sighed. "Fine. Just—look, be careful. I don't like him and I definitely do not trust him."  
  
"Come on, I see him at school. What could he possibly do there?" Jess was unbelievable. He just didn't know when to back down.  
  
"You'd be surprised. Hey, I gotta go, Luke's giving me the evil eye," Jess said rather pointedly.  
  
"Okay, but you're not getting off the hook that easily. I'll be over in a few minutes."  
  
She heard him sigh. "Imagine my surprise."  
  
"Hey, watch it buddy. Castration is still high up on my punishment list."  
  
He chuckled and she detected a slight nervousness in it. "The scary thing is is that I bet you actually did write down a list." Rory thought about the piece of paper sitting on the kitchen table with her notes, but decided not to mention it.  
  
"Goodbye, Jess."  
  
*****  
  
The wind blew a little more insistently and Dean pulled his jacket a little tighter around himself as he stepped out of the market. His shift had ended almost as quickly as it had begun as most things tended to do lately and he was hesitant to head home.  
  
He looked up and was surprised to see Rory cutting through the park in the town center. Watching her walk, he noticed the way she hung her head low against the wind. She was probably on her way to Luke's to visit Jess. Bitterly he wondered if they had gotten together yet. Despite Rory's previous protests, he had seen the way Jess looked at her. Jess did not view Rory as just a friend.  
  
Gathering his courage, he cleared his throat and called to her across the square, hoping he was heard over the whistling wind.  
  
She turned and stared at him a moment before smiling. Quickly, he jogged over to her, not knowing what he would say when he got there. What could you say when your girlfriend broke up with you for proposing?  
  
Luckily for him, she started. "Hi," she said softly. "How have you been?"  
  
He considered lying to her and telling her how great he's been but knew she would just see through him anyway so he told the truth. "I miss you. It's been hard."  
  
Her eyes softened but her smile faltered. He loved everything about her and it scared him.  
  
"Dean," she whispered stepping close to him. "I've missed you too…." She hesitated and he felt his stomach drop. He looked at her and she looked at him and they had one of those silences. You know, the kind where no one knows what to say for fear of hurting the other person. Usually she would say something—anything—to break the silence, but this time they let it go. He was afraid, terrified really, of what he knew she was about to say. Yet, he needed to hear it, he had to hear her say it.  
  
"But…" he prompted, letting the sentence hang, unfinished in the air between them.  
  
She took a deep breath and grabbed his hand, his heart betraying him by fluttering. Her hair blew softly in the wind and he ached to reach out and touch it. "It's complicated," she whispered.  
  
It was always like that with her. Nothing was simple, everything was heightened, everything was complicated.  
  
He knew from looking into her eyes exactly what she couldn't say to him. "It's never going to work between us, is it?"  
  
Startled, she looked up at him, her blue eyes filled with sorrow. "You were my first in a lot of senses: my first kiss, my first slow dance, my first boyfriend, my first love… and because of this you will always hold a special place in my heart. I will always love you Dean, but no, I don't think there ever will be an 'us' again. I'm sorry." A tear fell down her face and he wanted to kiss it away.  
  
He was tempted to ask if Jess was the reason she didn't want to be with him but something stopped him. "Well, I'll let you go then." He dropped her hand and felt as though he had cut the last tenuous cord he had into her heart as he did so.  
  
"Wait," she said hesitantly. "There's something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you long ago." He waited as she wrung her hands in front of her nervously, his stomach doing flip-flops. "After our first break up…" she trailed off and his mind raced over the possibilities. His first instinct was to think that something had happened between her and Jess because it would explain so much but then he remembered that Jess hadn't moved there yet. "I kissed Tristan." His stomach dropped and it took all of his willpower not to punch the wooden gazebo next to them. Why did it have to be that blonde, smug bastard, so intent on taking Rory away from him… anybody but Tristan. "It was nothing but a mistake and I regretted it almost immediately afterwards but I should have been honest from the beginning and it's been killing me inside."  
  
Her eyes were wide and ready to receive whatever kind of reaction he dealt her. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped when he saw her flinch. It was in the past now. He did not want to increase her guilt any more than she already had felt over something that did not matter any more. His mind turned over what she had said, still digesting this new information hoping to maybe find it harder to love her now that he knew.  
  
Instead of speaking, he just nodded numbly and took a step back. "Good bye, Rory," he mumbled, turned and began to walk to his house. There was something about what she said that was bothering him—well, something besides the whole 'I kissed Tristan' thing but something he couldn't pinpoint.  
  
He was almost to his house when he realized what it was.  
  
She had said that she almost immediately regretted kissing him.  
  
Almost.  
  
That word echoed in his head.  
  
Almost.  
  
*****  
  
TBC…  
  
Feedback is GREATLY appreciated! 


	10. Devious Schemes

TITLE: Lost in the Shadows 10/?  
  
AUTHOR: Jennie  
  
EMAIL: jennieln@pacbell.net  
  
WEBSITE: http://jessifanfic.com/links  
  
DISCLAIMER: College student... need I say more?  
  
PAIRING: Tristan/Rory but will have elements of Dean/Rory, Jess/Rory, and ?/Rory  
  
SUMMARY: This story follows the trials and tribulations of love, sex and friendships of Rory and her close nit group of friends in a time when adulthood is swiftly approaching. Can a friendship overcome a potentially disastrous start?  
  
RATING: R for sexual situations and will be constant throughout the story.  
  
SPOILERS: All of the first season. Yes, Tristan and Rory were in that Shakespeare play together but no, he did not get sent to military school.  My Tristan is too smart for that. :o)  
  
NOTES: Big thanks goes out to my beta'ers Jewls13 and Julie and of course to everyone who feedbacked. Believe me, it's what keeps me writing!  
  
AUTHOR NOTE #2: I feel extremely silly. Yes, I do. Earlier I had defended my decision to have Tristan going to therapy because somebody pointed out that the scene basically revealed nothing we already knew and was a 'filler.' But I had defended my decision because I had major plans for a related plotline and it needed an intro… unfortunately, when reviewing my subplots (believe me, we're only a quarter of the way through) I decided not to follow that story line or else I may NEVER end this story. So don't think I'm crazy if I don't end up pursuing that angle. ::ducks her head:: Jennie  
  
DEVIOUS SCHEMES  
  
Whether she just got more sleep or she simply was feeling better, Chilton didn't see as dark and opposing as it did before. Today it was back to being a normal school.  
  
She made it to her locker and was twisting in her combination when she sensed somebody behind her.  
  
"Good morning, Rory." Tristan's voice was soft and his breath warm against her ear and by the time she turned around, he was halfway down the hall.  
  
Rory found herself watching him stroll down the hall and she smiled.  
  
*****  
  
The next two months flew by too quickly for Tristan.  
  
His and Rory's tentative friendship began as a way to ease his pain and maybe subconsciously he hoped that it could eventually lead to something more but instead it simply became a really good friendship. He never would have thought it possible but he seriously thought that in most senses it was better than a relationship. Besides, Rory wasn't ready nor was she interested in anything more from him, THAT he was sure of.  
  
He chuckled as he remembered the last conversation he had had with his brother.  
  
**flashback**  
  
"So wait, let me get this straight. You and she are friends and nothing more?" Travis asked skeptically.  
  
Tristan sighed. "Men and women can be friends. It is possible."  
  
"Oh, I know for a fact it is. It's just you and women being friends that I question."  
  
"You can be a real bastard sometimes, you know that, right?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Gotta go little brother. Big date with Kristen. It's our two year anniversary. God, can you believe it? Two years… anyway, call me next week sometime and give me an update on this whole friends thing. I'll be surprised if you two haven't kissed yet. You ARE a DuGrey, you know."  
  
**end flashback**  
  
He was definitely proving Travis wrong.  
  
The song he had been listening to came to an end yet he had no recollection of hearing any of it. Amused, he shut off his car, grabbed his backpack and stepped outside only to be tackled against the side of his car.  
  
"What the—" he started as two arms circled him from behind.  
  
"Tristan!" Rory giggled, loosening her grip so that he could turn around and face her but she tightened her hold almost immediately after. "I got in! I got in!"  
  
"Rory, you're making me dizzy and—" He gasped for air. "You're cutting off my air supply."  
  
She took his face between her hands and flashed him a brilliant smile, her ice blue eyes dancing. "Harvard. I'm in." He had to admit, in that moment he did want to lean in and close the small gap between them, to gently press his lips to hers as he did that night…  
  
He held in his smile as he pulled away from her, needing space or else he was going to go crazy. "God, is that all?"  
  
"You are incorrigible." She picked up her bag and began to walk away but she quickly turned back. "Here I am, all excited about getting into the college of my dreams and you have to be a butt hole and ruin it for me." She turned again, her humor evident, and began towards the school. She was too cute.  
  
"Well, it's good to know that I'll have company." He leaned back against his car and crossed his arms and waited, smug smile in place.  
  
"No," she groaned and stopped but did not look at him. "Not you too." Her head dropped and he thought he saw a slight smile on her face.  
  
Tristan's smile grew wider. "Why do you think Paris wanted to go there in the first place?" Quickly, he caught up to her.  
  
"Um, because her family goes back generations there." She looked at him with her innocent, wide eyes and he felt his heart warm. Yes, Harvard was going to be fun, especially if his dad followed through with his promise.  
  
"Well, yeah, if you want to get technical." He leaned in close and mock whispered, "But secretly it's because of me."  
  
She giggled and her cheeks flushed slightly. "Your ego gets bigger everyday, doesn't it?"  
  
Sighing, Tristan grabbed her hand forcing her to stop walking. "I'm glad that you'll be there with me," he admitted honestly.  
  
She took a deep breath and looked up into his eyes, tiny drops of rain splashing on her nose. It was funny but he didn't even notice that it was raining until now. "You know, so am I," she said, squeezing his hand.  
  
He mentally did a little dance. Outwardly, he allowed a small smile at her confession. "Well, Ms. Harvard, let's get you inside so that you can unload your backpack before class."  
  
*****  
  
Rory took a sip out of the steaming mug on the table and stretched her aching back. She had set up 'camp' at a table close to the frosted window at Luke's so that if she got stuck on her research paper, she would have something to look at, but the weather had forced everyone inside leaving her with nobody to watch. Outside the snow was free falling onto the pavement. It fell onto the window and trickled down the glass. The wind was blowing at unimaginable speeds that made the trees outside whip around noisily.  
  
Again, she glanced at her watch. Her mom was late. Nothing out of the ordinary but Rory was waiting to eat with her and if she didn't show up soon, her stomach was going to revolt. She flipped through the pages of one of the library books she was gathering material out of and found a blue flyer in it.  
  
Rolling her eyes, she couldn't help but smile. Sometimes she thought that Tristan was even more stubborn than she was. How he had gotten it in her book without her noticing though, she had no clue. Setting it aside she picked up her pen, determined to actually get some work done.  
  
"So, you done yet?" Jess asked, pulling out the chair next to her and sitting in it backwards.  
  
"Now I know why home is designated my homework sanctuary. Between you and Luke, I haven't gotten anything productive done."  
  
Jess almost looked pleased. "In that case, entertain me. I'm bored."  
  
"Ugh. Why don't you work?" He gestured around them and she realized that they were alone in the diner. "Fine, how about I give you some pretty highlighters and you can color quietly while I read."  
  
Jess clapped his hands in mock excitement. "Oh, goody. Can I, can I?" he said sarcastically. Ignoring the highlighters she offered him he instead picked up the flyer and opened it. "Prom, huh… you planning on going?" She could hear the disgust in his voice and knew that he suspected that she would go with Tristan.  
  
"No, but Tristan keeps leaving these in my locker, on my desk in class, and in my backpack and now he's having random guys ask me to go with them. It's quite annoying."  
  
"Don't give in until they begin to serenade you," her mom said from behind her dropping into the last available chair at the table.  
  
"I'm not giving in at all. The last thing I want is to go to the Prom with a guy I don't know." Rory gave up on her work and quickly began to shove it all back into her backpack as Lorelai peeled off her jacket and wandered over to the counter.  
  
She smacked her hand on it loudly. "Hey, Luke! Starving customers out here!" Lorelai turned back and regarded the two teens, a small twinkle in her eye. Rory instantly knew what she was thinking. "Why don't you take Jess?"  
  
Jess' head snapped up. "What? No. Bad idea."  
  
"Yeah, very bad. Tristan and Jess in the same room together. Bad." Rory's stomach growled loudly.  
  
"Luke!" her mom called again. "Rory's stomach is cannibalizing itself!"  
  
When there still wasn't an answer, she went behind the counter and poured herself some coffee. "Who is Tristan going with?"  
  
Rory shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Probably some bimbo, I don't know. His choice in girls is not what I would call 'tasteful.'"  
  
"Well, then that leaves only Jess—" She was interrupted by Luke's voice bellowing from the back room.  
  
"Jess! What is this?!" Luke stormed into the room fuming. "I told you to restock that back shelf. That place can now officially be considered a disaster area."  
  
"Hey, wanna know a good punishment?" Lorelai bounced up and down in excitement, a hard feat to accomplish in her heels. Luke eyed her wearily. "Make him go to the Prom with Rory."  
  
He snorted. "Make him go to a party? What kind of punishment is that?"  
  
"Think about it. He has to do his hair, dress up in a tuxedo and then come over to our house and deal with my mom fawning all over him and Rory. And best of all, she's gonna take millions of pictures that can be held to use later for mocking and blackmail." Luke seemed to be considering the proposal.  
  
"Sounds good to me." He pointed at Jess. "YOU are going to the Prom."  
  
Jumping up, Jess rushed over to the stock room. "I'll do it now, it's okay. I don't need to go to the dance," he stuttered. "Please," he begged, his eyes wide in panic.  
  
"Too late," Lorelai said before turning her attention back to Luke. "Now that that's settled, we'll have two of the usual, and chop-chop."  
  
Groaning, Luke went into the back, a whining Lorelai not far behind him. Jess staggered over and collapsed into the chair next to Rory's. "Why didn't you help me?" he asked, burying his head in his arms.  
  
Rory shrugged. "I don't know. It might be fun. Besides, I need to torture you as much as possible now to make up for moving away to Harvard in five months."  
  
"I hate you," he moaned.  
  
"I can't wait to see you in a tux, Jess. In fact, I'm going to call my grandma now and tell her the good news." She reached into her mom's briefcase and fished around for her cell phone.  
  
"You are a vindictive witch."  
  
She flashed him a smile and pretended to dial.  
  
She loved making him squirm.  
  
*****  
  
TBC…  
  
If you have time, please review telling me if you liked it or not and why. I live off of feedback. 


	11. Romance

TITLE: Lost in the Shadows 11/?  
  
AUTHOR: Jennie  
  
EMAIL: jennieln@pacbell.net  
  
WEBSITE: http://jessifanfic.com/links  
  
DISCLAIMER: College student... need I say more?  
  
PREVIOUS PARTS: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=492824  
  
PAIRING: Tristan/Rory but will have elements of Dean/Rory, Jess/Rory, and ?/Rory  
  
SUMMARY: This story follows the trials and tribulations of love, sex and friendships of Rory and her close nit group of friends in a time when adulthood is swiftly approaching. Can a friendship overcome a potentially disastrous start?  
  
RATING: R for sexual situations and will be constant throughout the story.  
  
SPOILERS: All of the first season. Yes, Tristan and Rory were in that Shakespeare play together but no, he did not get sent to military school. My Tristan is too smart for that. :o)  
  
NOTES: Big thanks goes out to my beta'ers Jewls13 and Julie and of course to everyone who feedbacked. Believe me, it's what keeps me writing!  
  
AUTHOR NOTE #2: SHAMELESS PLUG!! Please go visit Trory Addiction's new message board (mainly geared towards fanfiction) at: http://pub82.ezboard.com/bgilmoreaddiction We are in desperate need of fic writers in all genres, not just Trory!  
  
Also, I have my author alert active so if you put my author ID # (132709) in your author alert. When I update, you will receive an email. Happy reading!  
  
ROMANCE  
  
She stepped out of the shower, the water droplets sliding down her skin causing her to shiver despite the heavy humidity in the room. Downstairs she could hear the faint rumblings of people talking and she instantly knew she had taken too long under the steaming water.  
  
The insistent knock on the door confirmed it. "Rory? You didn't drown yourself, did you?" The Prom's not going to be THAT bad."  
  
Quickly piling her hair up on top of her head and slipping into her robe, she opened the door for her mom.  
  
"It didn't feel like more than a half hour," she mumbled as way of explanation.  
  
"It wasn't. You know my mother. She arrived with the cavalry ten minutes ago. Luckily, Sookie was prepared and had appetizers ready."  
  
"Calvary? Do I want to know?"  
  
"Probably not, but I'll tell you anyway because I can't wait to see your reaction," Lorelai said and Rory groaned knowing it couldn't be good. "Downstairs waiting for you is a makeup team that could rival that of 'Lord of the Rings.'"  
  
"Headache," Rory whimpered, pointing to her temple. "Please tell me this is all some horrible joke—or a nightmare! Yeah, a terrible, terrifying nightmare and I will wake up at any moment."  
  
Lorelai leaned against the door jam. "No such luck, kiddo. Now once you put on some clothes, the hair stylist and manicurist will see you first. After that, the makeup artist, a very flamboyant guy named Billy with very nice skin, has his turn and by then the whole town should have gathered by the front door with their cameras, rivaling that of the paparazi's."  
  
Squeezing past her mom, Rory started to the stairs. "You're really enjoying this, aren't you."  
  
Her mother acted as though she were offended although the mischievous gleam in her eyes said otherwise. "I never! Taking pleasure in my only offspring's misery? How could you ever think such a thing?"  
  
Rory ignored her and tromped downstairs. At the bottom, she found herself hesitating. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate what her grandmother did for her, it was just that she hated being fawned over. It made her uncomfortable.  
  
"Do you want me to run interference?" her mom whispered from behind her.  
  
"Please." She didn't say it enough but she really did love her mom.  
  
Rory waited where she was, listening, as Lorelai hopped into the kitchen, literally.  
  
"Martha Stewart is down the street!" she heard her squeal.  
  
"Lorelai, take your hands off of me."  
  
"But it's Martha Stewart!" Rory snorted. Her mom was weird. The door opened as shut but she could still hear the two women arguing.  
  
"That's not Martha Stewart, that's your neighbor. What happened to Rory? Is she ready yet?"  
  
Rory darted through the kitchen doorway, waving at a dumbfounded Sookie, spoon in hand, and ignoring the confused looks sent her way but the quote- on-quote beauty staff who were eating some sort of stuffed mushroom appetizer. Rory closed her bedroom door just as the kitchen one opened.  
  
She idly wondered why her mom had chosen Martha Stewart. Odd choice for a celebrity. But then again she needed a name that Emily would recognize…  
  
Her attention was soon drawn to her dress, hanging on the molding above the closet. Even though she had seen it two times before that week while her mother was altering it, the sight of it still took her breath away. Delicately, she fingered the wispy material that made up the skirt. It was unlike anything she or her mom ever thought she would have the guts to wear. The deep ruby bodice was tight and strapless and as Lorelai had put it, "Didn't leave much to the imagination." Which, of course, was why her mom loved it.  
  
Rory had found that lately she hadn't been so self-conscious about her body. In the past, if her shirt showed a sliver of her stomach, she would wear a sweatshirt over it. Well, either that or give it to her mom. Now, she was surprised to find that it no longer embarrassed her. In fact, she kind of was enjoying the attention it brought her.  
  
She often thought about what could have spurred the change, yet she stopped when her mind dwelt on that night with Tristan, almost four months before. Although she had only experienced it once, she really didn't see what the big deal was. Sex. It had been such a taboo in her mind for so long and now it was just… sex. Sure, it had been an amazing moment that she was honestly glad that she had experienced, especially since she had gotten an interesting alliance with Tristan out of it. But she still didn't see why, besides the consequences if you weren't careful—and Rory vowed that she would be more mature the next time—but why did people make it such a forbidden subject?  
  
Everyone did it.  
  
She scrunched her eyes closed, trying to squeeze back the thoughts as well. Her mind had been in a constant turmoil and lately she had been skirting around her feelings for both Tristan and Dean. Tristan was this boy who could be amazingly cocky yet vulnerable at the same time. He intrigued her and pushed her to her limits. But he was new. She was sure that once she had become better friends with him, her infatuation with him would end just like what happened with Jess. Not that she would get the chance to become better friends with him even though they were headed to the same college. Harvard was a huge school and the chances that they would be even remotely close to each other were highly unlikely.  
  
And Dean. Her feelings for Dean confused her even more. She missed him. Well, at least she thought she missed him. Sometimes she thought that she didn't miss him as much as she missed the comfort of him. It was hard to tell these days.  
  
Rory turned to face the floor length mirror that was mounted on the back of her door. Dark auburn strands of hair escaped her messy bun, falling into her pale face. She looked at herself, scrutinizing, trying to see herself as others saw her. Everything about her was plain and average.  
  
Gently, she stepped out of her robe and pulled on a pair of panties and glanced at the clock. She still had nearly three hours until she and Jess needed to leave. If she had known that this was to be an all day affair, she might've changed her mind about going. Who was she kidding? She still would've wanted to go.  
  
A movement behind her, reflected in the mirror caused her heart to skip a beat then rapidly thrash in her chest as if to make up the missing thump.  
  
"Rory, you gotta help me—shit!"  
  
She became painfully aware of her state of undress and she groped for her robe on the floor and clutched it tightly to her chest.  
  
'Please let the floor swallow me now,' she thought, her eyes squeezed shut. Unfortunately, the gods did not hear her because she remained fast where she was.  
  
Practically prying her eyes open, she peeked into the mirror and saw that the window behind her was now empty. Rory pulled the robe back on and cautiously tiptoed to the open window and spied Jess pressed against the side of the house, his eyes closed, breathing erratic, and face flushed.  
  
Seeing his obvious discomfort at walking in on his friend practically naked, she quickly tried to overcome her embarrassment. "What's the matter, Jess? I don't think I've ever seen you speechless before."  
  
Holy crap! Was that her voice? Even to her own ears it sounded weak and forced. God, she was such a wimp. This was her best friend. There was absolutely nothing to be nervous about. Unfortunately, her stomach didn't particularly agree and continued it's insistent churning.  
  
He took a deep breath and hesitantly looked into her eyes. He cleared his throat and visibly composed himself. "Just surprised. My little Rory is growing up." He pinched her cheek comically and gave a half-assed attempt at a chuckle.  
  
Rory sighed with a dramatic flair to ease the tension. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Jess relaxed and rested his forehead against the top edge of the windowsill. "Luke's driving me crazy. I wanted you to remind me again why I'm doing this."  
  
"Because you are my friend and you love me." She stepped aside and let him climb through the window. She was still slightly uncomfortable and found that she couldn't meet his eyes, instead choosing to examine a stain in the carpet that she had been to lazy to clean for like three years.  
  
"You okay?" he asked, touching her shoulder gently.  
  
Before she could stop herself, she had jerked away from his hand. Guiltily, she looked up to see his eyes brimming with hurt. She sighed and sat down on the edge of her bed, wrapping her thin robe tighter around her body.  
  
She found it difficult, if not damn near impossible, to guard herself against a friend who could read emotions and expressions so easily, so she didn't even try. "Not really. Well, maybe. I don't know. I just feel… different since, well, you know."  
  
The bed shifted as he sat next to her. He didn't speak and she didn't blame him. He had no idea what she was going through.  
  
"You miss Dean, don't you?"  
  
She glanced over at him, surprised. When did he become so astute?  
  
"Sometimes I wonder, you know? Did I make a mistake breaking up with Dean? I mean, he loved me, he wanted me, but then there's that thought in the back of my mind that my true love is still out there." Rory collapsed back on the bed. "I want romance," she whined pitifully.  
  
He lay down next to her and laced his fingers through hers. "Romance?" he asked and she couldn't tell if he asked it sarcastically or not.  
  
"I want a love that makes your finger tips tingle when you touch and your heart flutter when you kiss. Romance."  
  
Jess chuckled. "Honey, I hate to crush your idealistic dreams but love like that only exists in movies, bad boy band songs and the overactive imaginations of hopeless romantics like you."  
  
"I'm not so sure. There has to be something more out there, otherwise what's the point?"  
  
Before he could answer, a knock erupted from the door. "Rory, sweetie. I don't want to panic you, but it appears as though Jess is missing—" her grandmother's voice cut off as Luke spoke up.  
  
"Is he in there? He is, isn't he! Jess, you can't run from me forever!"  
  
After quickly kissing Rory's forehead, he sighed and slipped out the door with a smirk firmly in place. She lay there listening as Luke and Jess' muffled arguing grew fainter and fainter.  
  
"Rory, are you alright?"  
  
She sat up startled. She hadn't even heard her grandmother come in. Since when had she become Ms. Sneaky Spy?  
  
"Yeah, just thinking," she replied, forcing herself to smile.  
  
"Anything I can help with?"  
  
Instinctively, she went to say no but she caught herself.  
  
"How did you know grandpa was the one?"  
  
Her grandmother smoothly sat on the bed much the same way Jess had done not too long before.  
  
"I loved him from the moment I laid eyes on him. He was so tall and handsome, and his shoulders. He had such strong, broad shoulders. I loved his shoulders."  
  
Rory nibbled thoughtfully on her lip. "So you knew instantly?"  
  
Her grandmother softly stroked Rory's hair. "No. I knew I loved him but I didn't realized that he was the one I wanted to marry, to spend the rest of my life with until I had a dream. I dreamt about the future, happy together with a family. When I woke up, I dismissed it as one of those silly dreams us girls have but later that night, your grandfather kissed me. He had kissed me on occasion before but this one, this one was magic. It was like I opened myself up to him and the sensations instead of running from them. I was no longer afraid."  
  
Rory lay there in silent contemplation, enjoying the feel of the older woman's hands running through her hair.  
  
"You ready to go get your hair done?" her grandmother asked gently.  
  
Rory smiled up at her despite her impulse to say no.  
  
"Sure."  
  
*****  
  
TBC…  
  
I live off of feedback :0)  
  
REMINDER: Go to Trory Addiction's Message Board at: http://pub82.ezboard.com/bgilmoreaddiction  
  
Thanks!  
  
Jennie 


	12. You're Staring Again

TITLE: Lost in the Shadows 12/?  
  
AUTHOR: Jennie  
  
EMAIL: jennieln@pacbell.net  
  
WEBSITE: http://jessifanfic.com/links  
  
DISCLAIMER: College student... need I say more?  
  
PAIRING: Tristan/Rory but will have elements of Dean/Rory, Jess/Rory, and ?/Rory  
  
SUMMARY: This story follows the trials and tribulations of love, sex and friendships of Rory and her close nit group of friends in a time when adulthood is swiftly approaching. Can a friendship overcome a potentially disastrous start?  
  
RATING: R for sexual situations and will be constant throughout the story.  
  
SPOILERS: All of the first season. Yes, Tristan and Rory were in that Shakespeare play together but no, he did not get sent to military school. My Tristan is too smart for that. :o)  
  
NOTES: Big thanks goes out to my beta'ers Jewls13 and Julie and of course to everyone who feedbacked. Believe me, it's what keeps me writing!  
  
AUTHOR NOTE #2: SHAMELESS PLUG!! Please go visit Trory Addiction's new message board (mainly geared towards fanfiction) at: http://pub82.ezboard.com/bgilmoreaddiction We are in desperate need of fic writers in all genres, not just Trory!  
  
Also, I have my author alert active so if you put my author ID # (132709) in your author alert. When I update, you will receive an email. Happy reading!  
  
  
  
YOU'RE STARING AGAIN  
  
Despite the enormous turnout to see Rory and Jess, town sweetheart and resident bad boy respectively, off to the Prom, the two were on the road a mere twenty minutes after the pictures started.  
  
That in itself was unprecedented.  
  
The drive was remarkably silent. Silence can be a confusing thing. Sometimes it's uncomfortable but other times, it can be peaceful. And although Rory was still a little bit embarrassed about exactly what Jess had glimpsed earlier, the silence that consumed them now was a peaceful one.  
  
Besides, her attention was constantly being directed to the unwavering butterflies that flittered in her stomach. Why was she nervous? These were the same people she saw day in and day out at school, just in a new setting and in fancy clothes. What was so nerve wracking about that? She had no clue.  
  
She slowed the jeep and turned into the wide driveway, parking it in a spot quite a ways from the valet. Once the engine was silenced neither made an effort to move. The hotel loomed above them, a massive tower of stone, glass and gold, overly dignified and definitely snobby.  
  
"Well, we came all this way. We may as well go in," Jess said, filling the silence.  
  
Rory nodded and fidgeted with one of her acrylic nails absently. She had survived countless dances before and this time she even had her best friend with her. She was going to be fine.  
  
Resolutely, she opened her door and took a deep breath of the unseasonably crisp air. Jess ran around to her side of the car in an absurd act of chivalry but she found herself taking the offered arm and gripping it gratefully, thankful for the support.  
  
He patted her hand on his arm and began to lead the way to the grandiose doors bordered in a ridiculous amount of flowers. The pungent odor wafted over to them making Rory's nose itch.  
  
"You know," he whispered into her ear as they passed the aging doorman into the excessively gold lobby. "I definitely have the most stunning date here. If anything, I'm glad I came just so I can show you off."  
  
Rory felt heat rush to her cheeks and she knew she had to be grinning like a madwoman.  
  
Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad after all.  
  
*****  
  
For the first fifteen minutes, they passed the time by mocking some of the less coordinated people on the dance floor. It wasn't until Jess dragged her onto the dance floor for a slow dance that she saw him.  
  
Tristan.  
  
He looked gorgeous as ever and she felt a lump rise in her throat as she noticed how tightly he was holding the girl in his arms against him. And then she saw his face and her world crumbled. It was so open and relaxed and… happy. She had never seen him this happy and the obvious cause was the brunette in his arms.  
  
Much to her embarrassment, she realized that he was looking back at her, smiling. Quickly, she tightly smiled back and relaxed into Jess' arms trying to figure out why the fact that Tristan was happy bothered her so much. He was her friend. He deserved to be happy.  
  
It was darker now, even with the light that seemed to filter through all the empty spaces on the dance floor, and when Rory snuck a peak in his direction, Tristan had already faded into the shadows.  
  
Rory laid her head on Jess' shoulder and took a deep breath of a scent that was innately Jess: a mixture of cigarette smoke and a bitter aftershave that she had grown to like. She was determined to enjoy herself.  
  
An hour later found the two in a dark corner with Jess regaling her with details on how he had managed to pull off the renowned sprinkler caper a month before at Stars Hollow High.  
  
They still hadn't been able to pin it on him.  
  
Rory was so enthralled in the story she didn't even notice that Tristan had walked up next to her until he spoke.  
  
"Hey," he said quietly and she jerked her head up in time to see just a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes before the wall she had grown so accustomed to seeing rebuilt itself.  
  
He grinned slightly and turned his attention to Jess.  
  
Fuck. This was neither the time nor the place to start the whole 'mine is bigger than yours is' routine but she didn't think that either guy cared what she thought. She knew things had been going a little too smoothly. Nope, can't have a normal senior prom. The God's obviously enjoyed toying with her.  
  
"Do you think I would have a dance with her without any punches being thrown?" Tristan's gaze wavered briefly. "I mean, I'll probably dance with her either way but it would be nice to know if I'm going to get your blood on my tux or not ahead of time."  
  
For a tense moment, the two boys engaged in a war of glares and Rory found herself holding her breath. It kind of reminded her of the game she used to play with her mom where the first one to blink lost.  
  
Finally, Jess kind of shrugged and the next thing Rory knew, she was being led out to the middle of the dance floor. Tristan turned and without warning, pulled her tightly to him.  
  
"What are you doing?" she asked with a thread of a voice and she hated it, more so, she hated the tingles that spread throughout her body at the contact.  
  
"Dancing," he said simply, forcing her to surrender and sway her body with his.  
  
She was suddenly aware of the little things: how close his body was, the way his fingers played with the fabric at the back of her dress, the sweet, intoxicating smell of him that seemed to permeate into her, and mostly how his breath gently heated her neck, sending chills coursing through her.  
  
He leaned down, his face practically in the crook of her neck and she heard him inhale slightly. He was smelling her. Rory almost groaned out loud when his arms tensed against her.  
  
Yes, she could easily see why he was constantly involved with girls.  
  
Lust and hormones did them in every time and Rory feared she wanted to be the next.  
  
She lifted her head back up and caught his eye. He stared back intently and suddenly the room around them faded away. All Rory saw were those mesmerizing crystal blue eyes. The two of them drifted about the room, not seeing much of anything, simply lost in each other.  
  
*****  
  
Jesus Christ.  
  
He had died and gone to heaven.  
  
Tristan had been to many formal occasions in his lifetime and in turn, had seen many girls in stunning dresses (and if he was honest with himself, too many were later seen out of those dresses as well) but never had one taken his breath away.  
  
Until now.  
  
He had been in the middle of an animated story, surrounded by a group of his peers when he saw her on the other side of the room. She was sitting at a corner table whispering conspiratously with that wanna be rebel, Jess. He bitterly wondered if Jess had picked Rory up on that motorcycle of his. The bastard. Ignoring the slight pang at the two of them together, he instead chose to focus on the way the deep crimson bodice of her dress clung to her body and how a few daring curls had escaped their confines and were now delicately brushing against the skin of her bare shoulders.  
  
Suddenly, he lost his tongue, his ability to complete a sentence and barely the ability to breathe.  
  
"Earth to Tristan," his friend Greg joked, waving a hand in front of his face, snapping Tristan's attention back to his story and more importantly, his waiting audience. "What have you been smoking and why haven't you shared?"  
  
Tristan grinned and glanced down at his date, Katie, who was looking back up at him curiously.  
  
Rory was definitely going to be the ruin of him.  
  
With his momentum now diminished, the story ended rather feebly and the group dispersed, most of them coupling and heading to the dance floor.  
  
Once they were alone, Katie leaned over to him. "So, who's the girl in the red?"  
  
Great. So much for thinking he had been subtle.  
  
"A friend," he answered, gulping down the rest of the sickeningly sweet punch in the cup in front of him.  
  
She watched him for a moment before turning her attention to the dance floor, her warm brown hair swishing with the movement.  
  
A few moments later, she released a dramatic sight as she continued to gaze at those who were dancing. Tristan felt the corners of his mouth begin to turn up. He wasn't the only one who lacked subtlety.  
  
"Katie, my dear, would you care to dance?" He stood up in front of her and bowed in mock seriousness.  
  
"I thought you'd never ask."  
  
Once on the dance floor, he twirled her into his arms before they found a common rhythm. "I can't thank you enough for coming all this way for just a Prom, especially considering you don't know anybody here." 'And for putting up with me,' he added silently.  
  
She shrugged. "It was the least I could do for my future brother-in-law."  
  
Tristan blinked at her. "You mean…?"  
  
Katie grinned. "Yep. Last night. Travis even asked my dad's permission."  
  
Pulling her tightly to him in a hug, he marveled to himself. Travis and Kristen were getting married. He was going to have two sisters!… well, sort of.  
  
Oh, who was he kidding? It was close enough.  
  
Spinning Katie around again, he faltered as he met eyes with Rory. She looked upset and he forced himself to quell the urge to beat the shit out of Jess right then and there for whatever he did. After giving him a tight smile, she allowed herself to be drawn up into Jess' arms. Maybe he wasn't the culprit after all. But who else?  
  
God, when did he become such a worrier? Rory was definitely capable of taking care of herself.  
  
Katie released him and babbled on about something or other as she led him back to the table as the song ended.  
  
*****  
  
"You're staring again," Katie observed, resting her head on her hands, folded on the table in front of her.  
  
Tristan averted his eyes from Rory guiltily. He was being a horrible date. "I'm not being very much fun, am I," he stated wryly and he stood up and offered his hand. "Let's go dance again."  
  
"Nah. I'm quite content where I am, thank you very much." Fluttering her eyelashes playfully, she gestured for him to kneel down to her level. Once he complied she whispered, "Why don't you go ask 'red' to dance?"  
  
Tristan gulped. "Why would I do that? I came here with you."  
  
"I can see right through you DuGrey. Never forget that. Now, get your ass over there."  
  
He had to admit, he wanted to, nevertheless, he stood there slightly dumbfounded.  
  
"Go on, now. Get out of here."  
  
His feet were planted firmly on the floor. He couldn't move even if he wanted to. "I'm not leaving my date to the hungry wolves." He nodded his head over to a couple of guys leaning against a wall near the women's bathroom, no doubt waiting dutifully for their dates.  
  
Katie laughed. "For some reason, I do not think you need to worry. Besides, I'm practically your sister. What do you care if they come over and ravage me?"  
  
Putting his finger to his chin, he pretended to ponder that. "You know what? You're right! What do I care?" He pivoted and she took the opportunity to kick him square in the ass. He decided to ignore it instead calling over his shoulder, "Don't you move!"  
  
Halfway across the room, he almost turned back but realized he was being silly. This was Rory, a good friend. He had nothing to be nervous about. Besides, he didn't want to deal with the shit Katie would put him through if he turned back now.  
  
He was vaguely aware of Jess' voice slowly trailing off as he stopped next to Rory.  
  
"Hey," he said and he instantly felt like an idiot. He was practically the king of words and all he could think of to say was something lame like 'hey?' He was disgusted with himself.  
  
Suddenly, he became conscious of her eyes fixed on him and he strove to compose himself. He forced a smile out and turned to Jess, half-expecting him to lunge at him at any second.  
  
"Do you think I could have a dance with her without any punches being thrown?" Jess' eyes narrowed and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Rory's white-knuckled grip on the table tighten. "I mean, I'll probably dance with her either way but it would be nice to know if I'm going to get your blood on my tux or not ahead of time."  
  
Oh, why couldn't he just keep his big mouth shut?  
  
Jess' jaw clenched.  
  
Okay, maybe that wasn't the smartest thing he could have said. Tristan was tempted to simply dart back to the safety of the other side of the room but his pride wouldn't let him.  
  
His damn pride would probably get him killed one day.  
  
Finally, Jess gave a half-shrug and Tristan grasped the opportunity to get away with a flourish. He snatched Rory's hand and unyieldingly dragged her to the dance floor. Without thinking, he pulled her tightly to him feeling her body tense under his touch.  
  
"What are you doing?" she asked breathlessly, looking up with her innocent eyes.  
  
"Dancing," he replied and he finally felt her begin to ease into the rhythm his body had naturally set. Nervously, he fiddled with the folds in the skirt at her lower waist.  
  
Rory simply looked up at him as if she were having difficulty focusing on his words. In that moment he felt her resolve waver. Her arms made their way from his arms to wrap around his neck and he melted under her touch. The heat of the room couldn't compare to the heat he felt from her touch.  
  
As her soft smell wafted up to him, his knees became weak and he prayed they wouldn't give out. Before he knew it, he was following the enticing scent down into her neck. He barely suppressed his groan.  
  
Cautiously, she lifted her eyes to his and he became instantly lost in their depths. He wasn't sure how much time had passed but when someone jostled his arm he was brought slamming back into reality. Although Rory remained wrapped in his arms, the music was no longer the slow, melodic one they began dancing to, instead replaced by a pulsing techno beat.  
  
Embarrassed at his obliviousness, Tristan loosed his grip and led her back to her table wordlessly, dismayed to see Katie sitting next to Jess, a knowing smile on her face.  
  
*****  
  
TBC…  
  
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	13. AUTHOR NOTE

Hey, everybody.  
  
Last Friday, one of my good friends was hit by a car and was killed. This is my first real experience with death and I find that I'm having a hard time concentrating on much of anything. Unfortunately, this means that there will be a short hiatus on this fic (I'm guesstimating around a week or two but I can't be sure)  
  
Thank you so much for understanding,  
  
Jennie  
  
jennieln@pacbell.net 


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